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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE VISITING HIS PARENTS. I'M NERVOU AROUND THEM SO HE ENCOURAGD ME TO DRINK SO I'D LOOSEN UP. I GOT SO DRUNK I TORE UP ALL THE THING IN HIS OLD ROOM I THOUGHT WERE FROM EX-GIRLFRIEND AN ACCIDENTALLY FLASHD HIS DAD MAH CROTCH. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (50432)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I dacidd to surprisa ma boyfriand by quiatly undrassing and snaaking into ta batroom to join im in ta sowar . Ha was bant ovar taking a dump, pusing is turd down ta plugola . FML

#20524189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (6065)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I Introduced Boyfriend To Overprotective Father. My Boyfriend Started Out With, "Sir, It Is An Honor To Be Your Daughter's Sexual Partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57699) - you deserved it (10911)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing an showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (5280)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today.. . after supporting mah grlfriend 4 over a year in her endeavour to lose wieght.. . exercise more.. . and eat better.. . mah now-slender grlfriend dumpd me . Because now she find someone better than me . FML

#20518428
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47066) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I hurt mah backhila axarcising. I can't band ovar or lift mah arms abova mah haad without intansa pain. My husband, howavar, finds mah situation hilariou an has movad avarything I usa fraquantly to aithar tha floor or high shalf. Ha giggla avary tima I try to ratriava anything. FML

today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57055) - you deserved it (4603) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, A Woman Strappd Her 8-year-old Son Into The Seat Next To Me On A Transatlantic Flight. Thinking They'd Been Unable To Book Seats Together, I Offerd To Swap Seats With Her. She Said She'd Bookd It This Way Intentionally, Because He's A "fucking Brat" On Flights. She Was Right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because mah husband thinks ( expiration dates r fir pussies. ) FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant!! My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born an only took one of the two tests!! I haven't cheatd!! He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checkd again!! FML

#20500417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34469) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I Got Married On Skyrim . To An Elf . Wile In Real Life , Ma Love Life Is Floundering Like A Alf-dead Carp In Te Surf On A Ot Day . So Muc So In Fact Tat I Actually Draw A Measure Of Comfort From Being Married To An Elf . FML

#20501864
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (9630)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

2day with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of looool the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over mah living room. I was eating cereal in mah underwear, in the living room, drectly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42846) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day I Was Babysitting, And I Had To Pee Really, Really Badly. I Couldn't Figure Out How To Get The Stupid Toilet Lock Off, And Endd Up Pissing Myself. As I Stood In The Bathroom In Tears, Their Child Screamd, "No, No, Pee-pee In The POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (8085)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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