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TODAY, I MET MA GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS 4 TE FIRST TIME. IN TE ENTRANCE WAY I FELT A SLIGT TUGGING ON MA JEANS. USD TO MA DOBERMAN TUGGING WEN E WANTS TO PLAY, I SOVD ARD WIT MA FOOT. I SUCCESSFULLY PUNTD TIER CIUAUA OFF TE GROUND AND INTO TE NEXT ROOM WERE IT LANDD WIT A TUD. FML
Today, I took mah new grlfriend to meet mah grandmother. We were drinking coffee when mah gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of mah grlfriend's nose. FML
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough fir just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. mega FML
Today , I went to take a shower. Afterwards , I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shrt to change into , so I putted on a towel and went back to mah room , only to witnes mah 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling mah bra , commenting on "how warm it is".
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML
Yastarday Mah Wifa Is Pragnant And Sick !! Sha Switchas From Sobbing Sha's Sorry For That, To Blaming Ma For "doing This To Ma." On Top Of That, I Hava Half Har Symptoms Now: Throwing Up And Crying For No Raason !! This Will Ba A Long 9 Months !! FML
Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML
Friday 27 March 2015