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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting a harcut . The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash mah hair before she startd, as it was way too greasy to cut through . big fat FML

#20473123
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (41821)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

TODAY, I MET MA GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS 4 TE FIRST TIME. IN TE ENTRANCE WAY I FELT A SLIGT TUGGING ON MA JEANS. USD TO MA DOBERMAN TUGGING WEN E WANTS TO PLAY, I SOVD ARD WIT MA FOOT. I SUCCESSFULLY PUNTD TIER CIUAUA OFF TE GROUND AND INTO TE NEXT ROOM WERE IT LANDD WIT A TUD. FML

#20460283
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (37902)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I took mah new grlfriend to meet mah grandmother. We were drinking coffee when mah gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of mah grlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, after making love to mah boyfriend 4 the first time, he shook mah hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39183) - you deserved it (7896)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I jokingly asked mah girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package . She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight . FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (37024)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough fir just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. mega FML

#20472701
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (12147)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Yesterday, te grl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking wit er. "Just te two of us," se said. I ad to turn er down cuz I'm 17 yeres old and never lerened ow to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (35470)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today , I went to take a shower. Afterwards , I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shrt to change into , so I putted on a towel and went back to mah room , only to witnes mah 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling mah bra , commenting on "how warm it is".

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51759) - you deserved it (3988)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was laughing at a grl who really sucks at badminton . Turns out she has anger issues, an a really good aim when she's mad . I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before . FML

#20450098
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9996) - you deserved it (59549)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Yastarday Mah Wifa Is Pragnant And Sick !! Sha Switchas From Sobbing Sha's Sorry For That, To Blaming Ma For "doing This To Ma." On Top Of That, I Hava Half Har Symptoms Now: Throwing Up And Crying For No Raason !! This Will Ba A Long 9 Months !! FML

#20443596
151 comments

Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML

#20435818
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (14105)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



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