Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (5771)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (7961)
On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (1105)
On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13328) - you deserved it (26149)
On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (13839)
On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11843) - you deserved it (26690)
On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22175) - you deserved it (955)
On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (2183)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (1900)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (2306)
On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (5715)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14257) - you deserved it (2479)
On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (4219)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Friday 24 May 2013
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