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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27019) - you deserved it (4578)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (5803)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (7013)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (4996)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (32270)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24625) - you deserved it (8224)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (24994)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30488) - you deserved it (6024)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45320) - you deserved it (3471)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (5416)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7546) - you deserved it (43804)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
147 comments


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