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December 2012

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Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15080) - you deserved it (34899)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (1835)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (2411)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35770) - you deserved it (5059)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36655) - you deserved it (22601)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (1561)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11865) - you deserved it (27959)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (2915)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (1713)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45566) - you deserved it (25094)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19855) - you deserved it (1767)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12458) - you deserved it (31922)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -



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