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December 2012

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Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Taday son turned 8!! We watced as e unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun..!! extra 'bullets'..!! new looool soes an a scool bag wit is favorite TV caracter on te front an a action figure inside!! As e finised e looked me straigt in te eyes an says..!! "Tat's great ma..!! but seriously wat'd you get me?"!! FML

#20187584
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (10932)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49578)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today... my 14-year-old daugter cummd ome after sneaking out and partying. Se was totally drunk... and startd crying on my soulder because some boy namd "Tomas" as a small dick... and se ad to fake an orgasm. fat FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25295)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

TODAY, ONE OF THE GIRLSHO HAS MADE IT HER JOB TO RUIN MAH LIFE CORNERD ME IN THE HALLWAY AT SCHOOL . SHE TRID TO INSULT ME, AN 4 THE FIRST TIME IN MAH LIFE I HAD A SCATHING COMEBACK . MY ELATION QUICKLY ENDEDHEN SHE VIOLENTLY SHOVD MAH FACE INTO THE WATER FOUNTAIN . FML

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, cuz I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today feeling very distant to mah daughter recently I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly and alerted everyone in the house to mah actions. fat FML

#20196447
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5201) - you deserved it (54402)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

2day a senile old lady cummed up to me and offered me cocolate. I noticed tat it was ex-lax, so I politely told er no. My 4-year-old daugter pused me aside and ate te ex-lax, because se tougt it was candy. I now ave a stinky cild on a 3 our bus ride, wit no stops. FML

#20197580
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (9820)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on mah left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited 4 me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (14571)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML



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