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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML

#20403366
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (6093)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:37am - kids - by unknown - Canada

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (3266)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (7430)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (9187)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (7953)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (3700)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (23511)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (5077)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

#20194179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (1263)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (3058)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

#20410075
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37552) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

#20197805
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (1486)

On 12/09/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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