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December 2012

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Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (6320)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36127) - you deserved it (7021)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (2104)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (4318)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14241) - you deserved it (35188)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12223) - you deserved it (38480)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (7561)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (3560)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a talent show, my band got booed before we even started playing. FML

#20188582
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm - misc - by disembob - United Kingdom

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (3953)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (8762)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39667) - you deserved it (4488)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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