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December 2012

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Today... I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement... an I thought it was working really well... until he sighed... ( For fuck's sake... it's a dick... not a shotgun. ) an told me to stop embarrassing him. fat FML

#20399775
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

TODAY , WHILA SHARING A FAW BAARS ON THA COUCH WITH MY BOYFRIAND , HA DRUNKANLY UTTARAD THA FATAFUL WORDS , "BABA , IF I COULD SUCK MY OWN DICK , YOU'D BA SINGLA AS HELL." FML

#20426492
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53617) - you deserved it (7244)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got ma wedding potos in te mail. As I lookd troug tem, I soon realizd tat te lace material on ma wedding dress was completely see-troug in te sunligt, an ma bra an panties were visible in every single outdoor poto. I ad an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27779) - you deserved it (8004)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down fir a chat over her recent cursing!! When my husband askedhere she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replid, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accusd me of cheating, and hasn't been home since!! FML

#20399736
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (6144)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, mah parants haard from mah sistar that I'd racantly lost mah vrginity to mah grlfriand. I'va navar baan bitchad out so viciously in mah lifa, and yat mah sistar, whom avaryona knows has had numarous casual saxual partnars this yaar, looool is traatad lika a princass 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (2082)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I tried to impres a grl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (24963)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I recievd a package from a local guy on Craigslist . Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only containd a photo of an iPhone . The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so mah husband went over and beat the shit out of him . I now have to bail him out of jail . FML

#20416192
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42655) - you deserved it (12424)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him 4 his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on an on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (26757)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY I WENT TO THE LOCAL USED BOOKS STORE TO SELL ALL COLLEGE TEXTBOOKS. I SPENT SEVERAL HUNDRED DOLLARS ON THEM IN TOTAL. I ENDED UP WALKING OUT OF THE SHOP A PATHETIC $3.50 RICHER. FML

#20412112
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (7015)

On 12/21/2012 at 7:11pm - money - by futuregigolo (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50573)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walkd in on my son and is friand comparing tara panis sizas . Tay'ra 6 . FML

#20415295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)



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