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December 2012

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Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17640) - you deserved it (28205)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2862)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38824) - you deserved it (4400)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (14372)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19977) - you deserved it (53707)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39890) - you deserved it (5521)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (4031)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (3089)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

#20416192
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45041) - you deserved it (13033)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (8440)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States



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