Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was waitrassing fir a huga family. Thair bill was $750. Excitd about tha tip, I was shockd to saa only $0.50. As thay wara laaving, I thraw tha twohola quartar at thair haads. Guassho also got fird today. FML

#20150831
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18054) - you deserved it (42349)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress mah 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in mah lap in a frilly dress, an as I was placing a very pink an lacy bow on his head, mah mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now think I'm mentally unstable an should be in therapy. FML

today I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement . Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars . FML

#20162883
277 comments

Today, I told mah family that I wantad to changa mah last nama to mah futura wifa's. Wa want to hava tha sama last nama, and wa chosa hars cuz sha is an only child, whila I hava thraa brothars. Half of mah family is laughing and calling ma "pussy whippad" whila tha othar half won't spaak to ma. FML

#20150778
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (15306)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked ma boyfriend if e'd rater play te new Assassin's Creed game or ave a nigt of sex wit me . He started crying from indecision . FML

#20176354
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (10967)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I woke up to my balls coverd in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut . I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart . FML

#20178502
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you deserved it (25239)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, mah daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill . It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them . She's in her teens . FML

#20167023
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15660) - you deserved it (24385)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, tis guy I've been dating fir a few monts freaked out and called is mom crying, cuz I told im I migt be pregnant wit is baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11534) - you deserved it (27381)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's the frst day of mah two-week stay at mah in-laws house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, an anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in mah quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

#20184036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (26839)

On 11/29/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by comeuntome (woman) - United States

TODAY, WAS THE DAY MY GIRLFRIEND AND I TRIED TO 69 FOR THE FIRST TIME!! TODAY IS ALSO THE DAY I LEARNED THAT I'M PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF MAINTAINING AN ERECTION AFTER SOMEONE FARTS IN MY FACE!! FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today , a woman on the train demanded I give up mah seat fir her , claiming it was fir people with disabilities. Tred from a long day at work , an seieng she had nothing wrong with her , I asked what her disability was. Apparently , obesity is one. FML

#20152323
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (1913)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today..!! While At A Red Light..!! A Guy In A Tux An Sunglasses Doing The Gangnam Style Passed Over The Crossing..!! Followed By A Man With A Video Camera!! This Isn't The First Time I've Stopped For People Doing A Gangnam Style Parody!! FML

#20165330
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (3611)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

yesterday in break from tradition... I proposd to mah boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on mah knee... after pouring mah heart out... he lookd wistfully out over the water an said... "So... I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: