Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23396) - you deserved it (1921)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (1216)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm - health - by pheebs314 - United States (Washington)
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (3720)
On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17577) - you deserved it (1341)
On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8780) - you deserved it (22134)
On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada
Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (2762)
On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States
Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (2349)
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (1052)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14284) - you deserved it (2477)
On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (1750)
On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (3763)
On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15208) - you deserved it (1937)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22081) - you deserved it (2963)
On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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