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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (1275)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (1323)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (1117)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15372) - you deserved it (1791)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13360) - you deserved it (2603)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (22239)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16724) - you deserved it (5579)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12693) - you deserved it (5795)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19067) - you deserved it (1639)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7509) - you deserved it (28097)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (1552)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (1791)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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