Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16453) - you deserved it (938)
On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13262) - you deserved it (3131)
On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16051) - you deserved it (3430)
On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (2539)
On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6072) - you deserved it (14225)
On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (3870)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16863) - you deserved it (1331)
On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13896) - you deserved it (3425)
On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14080) - you deserved it (1037)
On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11853) - you deserved it (1205)
On 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm - work - by johnnyfuckfacer (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16598) - you deserved it (1754)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2164)
On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15230) - you deserved it (1145)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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