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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ad 7 mont ceck up 4 pregnancy. Te nurse weigd me an said, "I see you've gotten into te Halloween candy." looool FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (3534)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States

Today, I Found Out Y It Might Be Awkward To Have Yur Plumber And Yur Least Well-behaved Dog Share A Name. Bad Plumber. FML

#20100991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (2428)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Yesterday, I was playing with mah 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to mah hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to fine my balance on my crutches , I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut , not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. mega FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today... my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail... she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently... I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him fir the next 50 yeres." looool FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

TODAY, TERE WAS A ORRIBLE SMELL IN MA KITCEN. I TRIED TO FINE TE SOURCE, BUT FAILED AND AD TO LEAVE FOR TE DAY. TAT NIGT, MA BROTER INFORMED ME TAT TE SMELL WAS COMING FROM A DEAD MOUSE STUCK IN OUR TOASTER. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21113) - you deserved it (1778)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today , I cummd home from college to fine favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeld by Bernie , the family dog. Nobody will admit toho puttd it on him. I don't knowhat's worse , that family is a bunch of assholes , or that nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. mega FML

#20129867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life . It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me looool in the face . FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you deserved it (28549)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Taday Our Kids Left Fir The Weekend So That My Wife And I Could Have Some Much-needed Alone Time. We've Been Fighting A Lot Recently And Really Need Some Time To Have Fun Together. Now It Turns Out That She Doesn't Want To Be Around Me Because Of The Fighting. FML

#20123973
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18547) - you deserved it (5109)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TODAY... MY NEIGHBOR LEFT 4 THEIR NINE MONTH EXCURSION... AND ARMD THEIR SECURITY SYSTEM. ONE OF THE FEATURE IS A LOUD SERIE OF THREE BEEPS EVERY THREE SECONDS... 24 HOURS A DAY. I CAN HEAR IT... CLEAR AS A BELL... THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE HOUSE. FML

#20119554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (1279)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

yesterday I caperond a scool dance. A song I knew cummd on, and, wanting to be te fun teacer, I dancd around a little. Te student ten pointd an laugd. I graduatd in '87 an ig scool still urts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (5699)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. mega FML

#20132231
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (1541)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me . I held mah breath slightly . This resulted in me breathing out through mah nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face . He looked at me in horror an walked away . FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (5170)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom



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