Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19112) - you deserved it (3448)
On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14093) - you deserved it (1142)
On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States
Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (1515)
On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States
Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18268) - you deserved it (1350)
On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12836) - you deserved it (3309)
On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12426) - you deserved it (2513)
On 10/26/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by Miss Spasticator (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18191) - you deserved it (911)
On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States
Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17650) - you deserved it (993)
On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13066) - you deserved it (1774)
On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)
Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15240) - you deserved it (4026)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States
Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (1418)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)
Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2582) - you deserved it (22319) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10184) - you deserved it (7426)
On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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