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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (2507)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34906) - you deserved it (2862)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17151) - you deserved it (17655)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29782) - you deserved it (2127)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28344) - you deserved it (1678)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9409) - you deserved it (27898)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32056) - you deserved it (6755)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

#20124733
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (12160)

On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (2079)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

#20125823
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21949) - you deserved it (5306)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:59pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (3373)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (1785)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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