Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (997)
On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)
Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (1132)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia
Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5683) - you deserved it (22536)
On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (2025)
On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (1576)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20149) - you deserved it (5799)
On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (1428)
On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13466) - you deserved it (1379)
On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15010) - you deserved it (1635)
On 10/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by whatadaydanny (man) - Dominica
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14701) - you deserved it (2191)
On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17946) - you deserved it (1497)
On 10/10/2012 at 12:45pm - love - by Timmeeh (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (2926)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12521) - you deserved it (2849)
On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Friday 24 May 2013
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