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June 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6815) - you deserved it (31954)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13880) - you deserved it (43759)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2884)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4649) - you deserved it (49103)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (10855)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22288) - you deserved it (2297)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (5958)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21683) - you deserved it (2677)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (4830)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (2878)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)



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