Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26171) - you deserved it (2449)
On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19078) - you deserved it (3580)
On 02/24/2012 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (2392)
On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (1747)
On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)
Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (6773)
On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I dropped my bag to run after my two year old who had bolted in the parking lot. Once he was in his seat, I got in and drove away. I felt two large thumps as I drove over my own iPad, cellphone and wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21712) - you deserved it (9563)
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (1545)
On 02/23/2012 at 9:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you deserved it (20784)
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19400) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (3438)
On 02/22/2012 at 4:37am - love - by Lonely Gay (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16269) - you deserved it (3606)
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23405) - you deserved it (2013)
On 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8624) - you deserved it (20771)
On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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