Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6855) - you deserved it (82031)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (4054)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (3812)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (2860)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (3399)
On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (38905)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (3958)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (138) - you deserved it (2728)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18019) - you deserved it (4477)
On 02/14/2012 at 10:32am - love - by crazytown62 - United States
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13953) - you deserved it (20572)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (1895)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19698) - you deserved it (5984)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia
Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36249) - you deserved it (1826)
On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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