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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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February 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381 (449)

I agree, your life sucks (2205) - you deserved it (27098)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478 (391)

I agree, your life sucks (11124) - you deserved it (1318)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

#19073057 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (17077) - you deserved it (4312)

On 02/14/2012 at 10:32am - love - by crazytown62 - United States

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (5701)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (7998) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199 (312)

I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (21403) - you deserved it (4025)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (3838)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

#19139199 (285)

I agree, your life sucks (8963) - you deserved it (1211)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

#19152897 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (7139) - you deserved it (1566)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (12593) - you deserved it (1279)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (24366) - you deserved it (3786)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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