Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (11810)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (12258)
On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (9091)
On 12/15/2011 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (2852)
On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36923) - you deserved it (2674)
On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13163) - you deserved it (30764)
On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40323) - you deserved it (1581)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (6304)
On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11482) - you deserved it (26197)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (12882)
On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26096) - you deserved it (11654)
On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (38796)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (26516)
On 12/05/2011 at 2:22am - intimacy - by LucklessNiceGuy (man) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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