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Friday 22 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my driver's test . I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout . He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!"hen I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red . The road was almost empty . He failed me on the spot . FML

#20517994
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12153) - you deserved it (46787)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today... I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. mega FML

#20517380
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (3413)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction . He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away . FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend . After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her . FML

#20517252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (3505)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I Found An Old Toy That I Gave To Mah Daughter Several Years Ago . It Was Still Unopend, An Long Forgotten, So I Decidd To Re-gift It To One Of Mah Friend's Children . My Daughter Immediately Rememberd Her "favorite" Toy An Startd Crying Inconsolably . Real FML

#20517777
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (10442)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea . With barely any toilet paper left, I texted mah husband to buy some more and rush home . He replied, ( Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads . Get it? 'Shitfaced' . LOL! ) and stopped replying to mah desperate pleas . FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

yastarday aftar naarly six waaks of saaing a nica girl wa finally dacidad to maka it official. Two hours latar sha pullad out a bridal magazina an not-so-casually askad mahich wadding location I thought was tha nicast. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today , I walkad into mah naar pitch-black bathroom and saw a parson staring back at ma . I woka mahhola family up with mah scraams . Tha parson was mah raflaction . raal FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (32101)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, l took mah new boyfriend to the placehere mah ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that mah ex looool and his new girl had the same idea.

#20517120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (52663)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echod through the meditation chamber . If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros . FML

#20517185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (7261)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the arts company I work 4 cancelld our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, an will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office traind in ticketing. It stoppd raining 10 minutes after we cancelld it. FML

#20517422
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2427)

On 02/22/2013 at 10:48am - work - by Wilf (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I mutd the TV just in time to hear mah mom yell at mah dad about how thier sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (4390)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States



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