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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally calld the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explaind that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excusd herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (35854)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to a club with girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confrontd her. She stormd off to the bar and said something to her friend,ho then came over and angrily slappd me across the face. Yeah, I'm confusd too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48106) - you deserved it (3330)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today , after 2 weeks of not having sex , my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (9219)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, I came home in a really good mood, an I greetd my husband with a grin an a ( Hi, babe! ) He just mutterd, ( Why can't you just DIE? ) an continud playing his video game. FML

#20490556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (20466)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today... a male employee at a soe sop elpd me try on soes. Once I found a pair... I went to pay for tem. I was telling te casier about ow great of an employee e was wen se told me tere were no male employees. A guy wit a foot fetis elpd me fine soes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of bieng scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needles to say something emerged from me. mega FML

Today, tha naw managar at my workplaca laft aarly in a panic, axclaiming, "My grandma had an accidant! I naad to saa if sha's okay!" I was laft in charga of tha bar onca again. This is tha sixth tima this waak his grandma has had an "accidant". FML

#20490841
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (2326)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decidd at looool age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room fir nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out an abandon her forever, an has been crying fir the last four hours. FML

#20490721
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday , at my retail job , a woman cummd to my till wit er purcases. After I scannd all er items , se andd me two small bags. One was filld wit nickel and dimes. Te oter was filld wit cents. Her total was $28.53. Te coins amountd to $22.30. FML

#20490092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (2402)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was leaving fir my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (6047)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I spun off te road and into a ditc!! Te insurance company told me I'd ave to wait an our, as tey ad oter cars to tow frst!! I ad to pee so badly tat I resorted to using te only ting I ad in my car: a plastic bag!! Tat's wen I got a knock on my window from te tow truck driver!! mega FML

#20489830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (5419)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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