Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on anoter date wit a guy I've ad a crus on 4 a long time . Afterwards, we went back to ma place 4 te first time and tings got eated . Wile taking ma pants off, e recoiled and asked if I tougt it was still No Save November . FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (43611)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend causd the pair of us to loose by just a single point, because he answerd "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (6625)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... I was debatinghich hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spoutd the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels"... and giving birth is 57... so I provd that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (8237)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

today I told ma boyfriend about ma upcoming mout surgery. He freakd out. Not cuz e's worrid about me but cuz I told im I will not be able to give im ead for two weeks. mega FML

Today, while babysitting my neighbors kids, there oldest son usd a paint pen on the carpet!! The boy blamd me an I got frd!! He's only 3 an can barely talk!! FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (5155)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Taday whila raading in tha bath I accidantally switchd tha showar on. Not wanting mah book to gat soakd I thraw it out of tha tub. Whan I got out of tha tub latar I found it had landd squaraly in tha toilat. FML

#20479000
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27412) - you deserved it (11373)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today , I Made A New Friend: The Cricket The Doctor Pulled Out Of My Ear Canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

2day I hered an owl near my house . I got excited , as they are not common in the area , an I listened intently to try an locate the source of the sound . After a few minutes , I realized I was not listening to an owl , but to my mother's sex noises . FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless cuz of this , god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis.

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, My Mom Barged Into My Room At Three In The Morning, Demanding To Know Where I'd Been. I'd Been In My Room Sleeping Since Ten O'clock. In That Time She Had Called The Police, All Of My Friends, And My Ex-boyfriend, Asking If I Was With Them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (2194)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, during lunc, ma coworker offered me er food, claiming se was full!! I was still quite ungry, so I accepted it!! Halfway troug eating te sandwices, ma boss walked in and started interrogating people over wo took is lunc!! I quickly realized I was te one eating it!! FML

#20479916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (3568)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

TODAY , MY ROOMMATE AN I NOTICD A FOUL SMELL IN OUR APARTMENT. AFTER LOOKING AROUND 4 A LITTLEHILE , I FOUND THAT HER CAT HAD POOPD ON A PAIR OF MY JEANS , AN APPARENTLY TRID TO COVER IT UP BY DRAGGING A SHIRT OVER THE MESS. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (3024)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

YESTERDAY, I CAME HOME TO FIND TWO LETTERS FROM A PUBLISHING HOUSE THAT I'D SUBMITTED MY MANUSCRIPT TO. THE FRST WAS CONGRATULATORY, STATING THAT MY BOOK HAD BEEN ACCEPTED FOR PUBLISHING. THE SECOND WAS APOLOGETIC, STATING THAT THE FRST LETTER HAD BEEN INTENDED FOR SOMEONE ELSE. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (1971)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: