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Thursday 24 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25038) - you deserved it (48086)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (2669)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16651) - you deserved it (29793)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38769) - you deserved it (2799)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (4264)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9545) - you deserved it (35338)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML

#20476019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (2008)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (2601)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML

#20476416
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (5770)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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