Thursday 6 December 2012 
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Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (4519)
On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15986) - you deserved it (1427)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24512) - you deserved it (2409)
On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3767) - you deserved it (63440)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17503) - you deserved it (3165)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13146) - you deserved it (3651)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (2956)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (2571)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)
Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16301) - you deserved it (1230)
On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19307) - you deserved it (1115)
On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States
Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (1297)
On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15912) - you deserved it (798)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12700) - you deserved it (2285)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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