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Thursday 15 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

#20163953
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (42868)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (8234)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (2310)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (2010)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (1510)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23897) - you deserved it (2003)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (2817)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16523) - you deserved it (1992)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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