Monday 30 January 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26556) - you deserved it (42228)
On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (6990)
On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8718) - you deserved it (30704)
On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States
Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (3378)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together" means scooting closer to each other in the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17846) - you deserved it (2550)
On 01/30/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by oldsoulyoungbody (woman) - United States
Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17958) - you deserved it (3415)
On 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (New York)
Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14314) - you deserved it (3909)
On 01/30/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Tasmania)
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (1330)
On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother in law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (2515)
On 01/30/2012 at 12:24am - kids - by myself - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (7122)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15536) - you deserved it (2646)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:20pm - work - by robert (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (2444)
On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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