Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14747) - you totally deserved it (47452)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
I guess hiding it in plain sight didn't really work out.
#5 - On 04/03/2009 at 5:13pm by MukyDaCookie
I didn't realize the dresser was now a secret place? What, did she get the vodka from your underwear drawer?
#8 - On 04/03/2009 at 5:16pm by blushinFML
haha that teaches you to hide your vodka more effectivly then doesn't it? =P
Least your clothes will smell of a burnt and vodka mix now ^_^
#9 - On 04/03/2009 at 5:17pm by 666midnight
why would she look in your dresser for water? oh yes my child keeps a bottle of water in her dresser like every other child.
#10 - On 04/03/2009 at 5:19pm by kelseymarie
Obviously, it could not have been very secret. Fail. :D
#16 - On 04/03/2009 at 5:28pm by may_cause_fail
I guess I'm a little dubious. Who leaves top shelf vodka sitting out in a water bottle?
#17 - On 04/03/2009 at 5:29pm by MrBigDog2U
I'm sure that she took it from ON TOP OF the dresser, not from inside it. Dur.
#18 - On 04/03/2009 at 5:29pm by nativebacon
maybe his/her vodka was disguised as water?
and maybe her sense of smell was impaired when she used it or maybe she didnt consider smelling it
Woah, crap, no more vodka and probably a pissed of mom :O
#29 - On 04/03/2009 at 6:00pm by ArmoredSandwich
I agree with what others have said...you're not very good with your "secrets" if you leave them sitting out in the open!
a lot of teenagers like to put vodka in a water bottle, that's how the mom didn't know it was vodka. and i'm pretty sure she didn't open it and smell it. she thought it was water and didn't think twice before pouring it into the iron.
and to #27, it's better if someone experiences drinking before college. if they have never experienced being wasted before college, they will screw up in college. but if they know what it's like, then it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
Clearly the mother's fault. even if it wasnt vodka, it might have not been clear water. there could be sugar or salt disssolved in it, which could damage the iron beyond repair too.
Still big fail.
Your vodka stash is gone? Damn, your life is f***ed.
#35 - On 04/03/2009 at 6:18pm by 420hiadventurer
Yeah, that's really weird that she didn't smell it. I mean, sure it wouldn't occur to her to grab it and purposely sniff, but vodka is strong stuff.
Oh well, irons aren't too expensive at least. Now, if you're in major trouble for having vodka, that's another story. Depends on how old you are really.
That's why you buy a bottle of flavored water
Colorless so it still looks like water, but no one uses it for ironing
The only way you'll be found out is if someone is in your room for whatever reason and gets thirsty and grabs that 'water'
That's where I keep my vodka
#38 - On 04/03/2009 at 6:24pm by FXCKMYLIFE
i am continually amazed at how stupid the commenters on this site are...
leaving it in the water bottle wasn't a bad hiding spot... obviously the mom didn't know it was vodka, right?
Do you smell your water? really? i mean, i get it that vodka is strong, but she wasn't going to drink it so it never went ANYWHERE near her face... i don't see why this is surprising....
to #27 and #32:
#32 is right and hopefully our country's drinking age will be lowered one day, but that doesn't change the fact that having a "hidden stash" of vodka makes you look like an alcoholic... you shouldn't be drinking unless you can be mature about it... and if you need to hide it, then you aren't being mature... Hopefully your parents are open minded enough to let you have an occasional beer/glass of wine, but if not then just drink outside the house... don't be stupid and have a "stash"
#41 - On 04/03/2009 at 6:38pm by gravityplanx
Was your mom smoking and ironing? That's about the only way I could see vodka catching fire.
#45 - On 04/03/2009 at 6:44pm by Pheonix21
your moms dumb enough not to check if it was water first...
#47 - On 04/03/2009 at 6:52pm by KawaiiRoxas
#17 who said anything about it being top shelf? Stupid kids don't drink Grey Goose. Unless maybe they're rich kids in which case I would guess that they've never done laundry before.
#47, I doubt you would check. Most parents trust they're kids, at least until their kids do stupid shit like this.
i call BS on this one. Alcohol does not ignite in liquid form unless it is roughly 57% by volume. Vodka is 40 per cent.
#52 - On 04/03/2009 at 7:19pm by sober_slav
Your vodka caught fire? really? Unless your vodka is 140 proof or higher (which I highly doubt you're drinking), it isn't catching fire. Secondly, and more importantly, where did the spark come from to ignite the vodka?
I think your mom was nice to try to iron your clothes for you.
And, come on, although I can see why hiding vodka in a water bottle can be "secret," it's obviously not-so-secret if you leave the water bottle out in the open. YDI.
Don't leave your vodka lying around like that. You'd get bagged in a second
#58 - On 04/03/2009 at 7:41pm by Atreyu1994
32: "it's better if someone experiences drinking before college. if they have never experienced being wasted before college, they will screw up in college."
wtf? Why would it screw them up in college if they haven't drunk in high school? Alcohol screws you up in LIFE if you become addicted to it. I don't see how NOT drinking has any bad effects. Yeah your body might get more used to it if you put it through constant trauma, but not every college kid drinks enough that they would need to have a significant alcohol tolerance before they even get to college.
Am I the only one who found it funny that the iron caught on fire? Hopefully your Mom didn't get hurt though.
. . . But it's your fault. You should have hidden it better.
#60 - On 04/03/2009 at 7:52pm by SiLveRStaRLIGHT
53 Posted EXACTLY what I was thinking. How the heck did VODKA light on fire from an iron with no spark what so ever.
#61 - On 04/03/2009 at 7:59pm by ThatDarnBandit
Damn. Sucks to be you! No vodka = no fun :(
I just can't believe it caught on fire! Somethin' tells me it wasn't the best kind of vodka (Russian vodka, of course.).
#63 - On 04/03/2009 at 8:05pm by LaskovyjZajchik
God the mother is stupid!
Okay, she needs water. Where does she look? In the DRESSER!
So she just randomly finds a bottle of water in a dresser. She doesn't think about how it might not be water. Why would somebody keep a bottle of water in a dresser.
IT's not that bad a hiding place your mother is just weird...
I need some water. Let me go look in my dresser for some...
#64 - On 04/03/2009 at 8:08pm by MizzHollywood
totally your fault for leaving your vodka out in the open like that.
hide it better freak show.
#65 - On 04/03/2009 at 8:37pm by oooh_dear
I feel worse for you mom and have no sympathy for you whatsoever.
#67 - On 04/03/2009 at 9:18pm by r_u_serious
I wanna say that if she find a bottle of water INSIDE a dresser, hidden among clothes, she would be suspicious and not just assume it's water. So, if this is a "secret stash" of vodka, wtf is it doing in plain sight? If you are going to hide vodka, you might as well just keep it in the glass bottle in a GOOD hiding spot, when you take it elsewhere that's what the water bottle is for.
Physically impossible motherfucker, alcohol needs open flames at 40% concentration to ignite. there's no way an iron would reach hot enough temperatures to ignite it. busted.
Firstly, I laughed - which is why I come to this site.
Second, YDI - leaving the iron and board in your room, *and* leaving unconsumed vodka around...
Thirdly, to all the doubters: alcoholic liquids generally don't ingnite, true - but alcoholic vapour certainly does - which is exactly what a hot iron will do to any liquid - tun it into vapour. It's called a "steam iron" - there's a hint in the name.
And as for spark - there is probably one generated every time the thermostat in the iron switches, which is about every 30 seconds on my iron.
So, Mom having neither drunk nor sniffed the "water" has poured it into the iron. The iron as done what it was designed to do, and turned it into vapour. At this point, one would expect a fairly strong smell of vodka vapour to be detectable in the near vicinity of the iron. Perhaps Mom is unobservant; perhaps she noticed it but didn't pay much attention; perhaps Mom had a cold; perhaps the spell of vodka was covered by the smell of spray-on starch; - all possible. So now the thermostat in the iron switches, causing a spark...
ydi for having a "secret vodka stash". what are you, twelve?
#74 - On 04/03/2009 at 11:13pm by starvingxartist
#70 wins
but if this was true.. for real get a better hiding place. this is dumb no one would keep a waterbottle of vodka on their dresser...???
hahahahhahahahahahhahaha. thats why you have to hide the bottle!
#76 - On 04/03/2009 at 11:44pm by blondiee09
Wow. The commenters on this site need to read a fucking dictionary once in a while. To “hide” doesn’t only mean to physically place something out of view. It can also mean to conceal from knowledge, or to keep secret. The OP “hid” the fact that he/she had alcohol via deception, not obstruction, i.e. by disguising the vodka as water, in a water bottle, in a place where a water bottle would most commonly be found. There really wasn’t a physical hiding spot, and if there was, it was the water bottle if anything, not the dresser. The purpose of the dresser was to function as a background/camouflage i.e. a place where you wouldn’t think twice about seeing a water bottle. As the saying goes, the best kept secrets are right under your nose.
Plus, water bottle on a dresser? Normal. Water bottle tucked away in some drawer or hidden behind a curtain? Sketchy, and a probable cause for inspection (i.e. by the Mom). Besides, if the OP had such a great physical location in his/her room to hide the vodka (i.e. someplace that no one would ever look for any reason), why would he/she even bother putting the vodka in a water bottle in the first place?
Also, you shouldn’t really be able to smell the alcohol in vodka, unless it is really cheap. This doesn’t meant the OP had “top shelf” vodka. Absolut isn’t cheap but it’s still relatively inexpensive (i.e. compared to Grey Goose), and has a very faint smell to it. It is probable that the OP had something comparable to this.
And #52, where did you get the stat that “Alcohol does not ignite in liquid form unless it is roughly 57% by volume”?
Ever heard of a Flaming Sambuca? It’s only 80 proof.
And to say that “Vodka is 40 per cent” is an overgeneralization. There are plenty of vodkas over 40% (80 proof). Like Absolut 100, for instance, which you also can’t smell unless you put your nose right up to it (which I doubt the OP’s mom did).
Also, if you actually got that percentage (57%) from a legitimate source, you obviously didn’t read the whole thing. The percentage you are referring to came from a test that used to be conducted in Britain in the 18th century, in which British sailors would pour rum over gunpowder, and then test to see if the gunpowder ignited. If the ratio of rum to water was high enough, the gunpowder would ignite, and thus the rum was “proved.” If the gunpowder did not light, the rum was too watered-down, and was deemed “under proof.” Rum that was “proved” was defined to be 100 degrees proof (which was later calculated to be 57.15% alcohol by volume). HOWEVER, this definition held only for alcohols/liquids at 51 degrees Fahrenheit. This is key to take note of, because
THE COMBUSTIBILITY OF ALCOHOL DEPENDS LARGELY ON TEMPERATURE.
Alcohol that won’t light at room temperature might be extremely flammable at higher temperatures (such as when cooks are flambeying, liquors of 80 proof are considered ideal, although lower proofs will also work, i.e. wine will ignite when poured into a very hot pan). So obviously, an iron would certainly be hot enough to ignite alcohol (especially considering the fact that the boiling point of alcohol - 76 deg. - is less than that of water -100 deg.).
#34: Who would have a random bottle of salt water or sugar water sitting out on their dresser?? I leave water bottles on my dresser all the time. Sometimes my friends take one if they’re thirsty. And no, they don’t smell it first…
#35: The point of this FML has nothing to do with the fact that the vodka stash is gone. If you didn’t get that from reading the FML, then you’re just a moron.
#59, No one said anything about becoming addicted to alcohol. #32 is just making the point that if you plan to drink in college, it might be useful to get a little experience with drinking while you’re still in high school. It is beneficial to know your drinking limits before entering an environment in which alcohol and other drugs are often prevalent and easily accessible, and in which alcohol consumption is often encouraged (i.e. at parties, during drinking games, etc.). There’s a much greater chance to go overboard with the whole drinking scene in college than there is in high school. Hundreds of deaths occur every year due to college students who didn’t realize that they had drunk too much.
And it’s not about “building up your tolerance” before college. It’s about knowing yourself when you’re intoxicated – how much alcohol you can take, how your personality changes, how skewed your decisions get, etc. Everyone experiences alcohol’s effects differently. It is wise to know you how act at the different stages of intoxication, and to be aware of alcohol’s worst effects on you – and it is a bad idea to find this out for the first time in college.
I am not saying that every school encourages drinking, or that everyone should drink in high school “in preparation” for college… I’m just pointing out that some good can come out of not “wait[ing] until college” to drink.
#64: No, you’re the stupid one. The OP never said it was IN his/her dresser (which wouldn’t be a good hiding spot anyway – so cliché). The water bottle was most likely on top of the dresser.
Finally, why do so many commenters look for someone to point the finger at? It isn’t always someone’s fault. In fact, that’s the whole irony of many of the stories on this site. No one is at fault, but they still suffer from being stuck in a shitty situation. Which sucks. So they write about it, only to find ignorant commenters try to bitch them out over insignificant and irrelevant details.
nobody drinks in high school to "see their limits" they drink. We drink because they wanna have fun at a party or if their friends or over at celebrations and such. Honestly if you were holding science experiments with alcohol to test your limits and see how you react against other people you are a nerd with no life that wouldn't get into a party in college anyway. Even if you did you would rather sit in your dorm playing Xbox360.
"Today, I decided, because I have no friends and no social life to go on Fmylife.com and correct countless amounts of people and study on some pirate 57% alcohol content BS. To help my self esteem, because in the real world and online nobody likes me. FML"
damn major props to #77. they said some things that ive been wanting to say to some people for a long time but was too lazy too type it all out like that. so thank you LeTigre29 :)
#78 - On 04/04/2009 at 12:24am by shehzeenahmed
hey #77... YOU HAVE NO LIFE!
obviously you think you need to correct everyone.
give it up
i have a feeling your gay because no one uses "so cliché" anymore.
and i think this little ncident was quite amusing. Thanks for the laugh.
it's not a secret stash when you leave it out on the goddamned dresser.
#80 - On 04/04/2009 at 12:54am by louisianagrrrrl
that really sucks but really dude? out in the open? come on!
#81 - On 04/04/2009 at 1:09am by travitoninja99
#77. You made a lot of good points.
But.. You have no life. Fail.
"Today, I spent over a half hour looking up information on an old French testing technique to find out if alcohol was combustible at 57% alcohol concentration, arguing with random people on the internet, and responding to tons of commentators. I have no life. FML."
#82 - On 04/04/2009 at 1:36am by ChileanPepper
Sorry to be the one to say it out loud but your mother it's freaking stupid!
First that she should stick to the simple and get some fresh water, and second that she should've smelled that weird water that was kinda hidden to see if it wasn't something else like some cleanning stuff...
Damn, #77 too big for a simple comment.. O.O
#84 - On 04/04/2009 at 3:06am by braFTW
77 has clearly never been a teenager trying to hide alcohol from their parents.
Dude, I was a teenager living at home just a year ago, so were my friends, and none of us would ever dare leave a water bottle with vodka out on the dresser-just because it didn't look suspicious doesn't mean that you would take the risk of a parent taking a sip of it or something along those lines. I always hid everything, suspicious looking or not, for the simple fact that it would be way too scary and induce paranoia if I were to just leave it out in the open. That is a normal thing if you are trying to hide something.
Also, I drink a lot of vodka and if you open it within a foot of your face, it can usually be smelled. I've drank everything from Fleischman's to Grey Goose and, yes, Goose and other vodka of that caliber smells less pungent, but there is still a smell strong enough to smell when you're within a foot of it.
This isn't necessarily fake, but it definitely is a you deserve it because you should always take care to hide things-or at least not leave it sitting out on your dresser.
lol at Epic fail of OP.
~~~
#85, don't drink before you're of the legal age. F***ing idiot.
What's so great about alcohol? It makes you a total prick, and it's one of the most selfish things you can do besides smoking. Drinking just fucks up other people's lives, or ends them. And smoking just kills a little bit of everyone around you. Nice job 85. F***nut.
#87 - On 04/04/2009 at 12:38pm by lol_Epic_Fail
This is Bullshit.. How do you not know the difference between vodka and water? Vodka has a strong smell and she had to smell it when she was pouring it into the iron. I say this is BS.
BS, 80 proof is 40% and will not ignite. Everclear, on the other hand...
#90 - On 04/04/2009 at 2:09pm by disgruntled_stdt
BS.
vodka doesnt catch on fire unless its at 40% or higher..
#92 - On 04/04/2009 at 4:27pm by samm_marie
And people will continue to scroll all the way to the bottom and make the same, tired, refuted "omg dresser isn't a hiding spot!", "alcohol won't burn!" (yes, it will; irons get very hot, it may not ignite under a spark, but a hot iron may reach its ignition point), etc...
Props to #77 for the patience to type out all that. I thought most of those things, but don't have the patience.
If I hadn't figured out what I could handle in high-school I would've been a disaster in college.
I'm not saying it's your mom's fault for finding a "hidden" bottle of water and not noticing that it smells like vodka. You see I'm saying it's your fault not because you're hiding spot sucks, but because why do you have Vodka lying around your room? Shouldn't you have drank it by then?
#94 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:43pm by Corn_Is_Tasty
that's a problem, having straight vodka in your dresser... sounds like you drink alone. yes, FYL.
#95 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:47pm by alotta_fachina
Oh and to #82, that's not necessarily true. He might not have learned about that by spending his day researching, I mean I already knew that from one of my classes. Don't be so critical this is supposed to be a website that you read and get some laughs out of it to make your day seem a little better, not a website meant to piss people off.
#96 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:52pm by Corn_Is_Tasty
while boiling point for alcohol is lower than water, in an iron water flashes into steam upon contacting the hot plate. Until it contacts the plate, the mixture is homogeneous. When it hits the hot plate, both alcohol and water flash into vapours and still create a homogeneous vapour of 6:4 water:alcohol. As for iron being too hot to ignite it... ignition point of ethanol is 365 degrees C. So unless that iron runs at 365 degrees C, i highly doubt anything actually happened. IF that iron runs that hot then he's got other problems to worry about... such as holes in all of his shit.
#98 - On 04/05/2009 at 1:44am by sober_slav
LOL @ the fact that the OP never said she was in high school (probably is, but that's not the point). I definitely think better hiding spots need to be found for vodka. The dresser=Total Fail.
"I should do some ironing. Oh... it seems to need some more water. I think I should get a bottle of water from the dresser, because it makes more sense than you know, running water from the sink."
Psh, maybe that will teach her... Your mom shouldn't be pouring random liquids she finds in a teenagers room into something that can combust.
Couldn't have been that secret, if she found it.
Find a better hiding spot.
#104 - On 04/06/2009 at 7:09pm by FlightlessTalk
maybe you shouldnt have a vodka stash..
thats not healthy at all.
#105 - On 04/06/2009 at 7:31pm by peacevitalove
liar....vodka isnt flamable unless it is below 0 degrees celcius
fail
#108 - On 04/09/2009 at 10:37am by cmullan672
I agree who those that said that your mother is stupid.
She actually violated one of the very first rules that parents teach us "do not assume that any clear liquid is water". I also assume that she tried to blame your for her stupidity and that's why you ended up in FML.
We can also see that you are stupid as well, judging on where you hide your stuff from your parents.
Having said that I have no other option but to agree that your life is f***ed.
#59 needs to stop preaching. This site was made for ragging on idiots and showing pity for those who were genuinely fucked by life. Go take you morals somewhere else, like Myspace bullitens or some shit.
And anyone calling BS on this story is absolutly correct. 140 proof/57% alchohol is the danger zone for flaming up AND you'd need an actual spark.
Besides, if you were holding onto that vodka to take it out drinking and save someone a few bucks (for anyone who has a problem with drinking at the house, cause we have to be politically correct by society's standards on a site built for speaking your mind in a consequence-free environment) then you really should have at least put it in your dresser.
Hopefully, that would make everyone stop bitching about finding vodka in the underwear drawer, too.
Try putting a lock on your door, like any other self-respecting underage drunk would. That's how I do it =)
#110 - On 05/19/2009 at 11:37am by skatrwannabe3
I may stand corrected on the vodka ignition by comment number 70. I didn't think about the thermostat producing a spark.
#111 - On 05/19/2009 at 11:40am by skatrwannabe3
