Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you totally deserved it (2850)
On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)
fuck Jesus he ain't comin back and he never will "oh my accept Jesus and your life will fucking rule!!" no it won't. plenty of those hobos on the alley streets askin for money accepted Jesus and look at them. Jesus won't do shit for ur life
#86 - On 02/02/2010 at 11:42pm by michael32123
Well, Christianity does base some of its foundations on eating from the body of Christ...
#3 - On 12/17/2009 at 1:22pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
So your dog's an atheist..
I'd be proud to have an atheist dog. It shows superior intelligence.
Even if it's to its owner ;D
#5 - On 12/17/2009 at 1:27pm by dudeitsdanny
In three days he will return to you... where have I read that before?
#6 - On 12/17/2009 at 1:33pm by CallMeHush
How are you so stupid that??... Yea i have to witty remarks you're just stupid.
#58 - On 12/18/2009 at 12:09am by nazooer
And this is why you always keep small objects out of the reach of children and pets.
YDI for not putting the nativity scene somewhere your dog couldn't munch on it. You're lucky it didn't get stuck in the poor beast's throat.
And since I really am THAT bored...
Helpful Holiday Tips for Pet Owners
1. Don't put tinsel on your trees. Cats and dogs can eat it and get the tinsel coiled up in their guts, or choke on it.
2. Don't decorate lower branches with fragile ornaments. Pets running by or jumping on the tree can break them. For that matter, don't put fragile ornaments anywhere on your tree if you have a cat that hasn't been de-clawed. Tree-climbing happens. Chaos ensues. I've seen it happen.
3. Keep any small figurines or free-standing ornaments on a table or shelf your pet cannot access. Choking hazard. It's that simple.
4. If your pet tends to scratch around or damage pillows and other furniture items, chances are they'll go and eat or unwrap the presents, so don't leave packages unattended under the tree.
5. Don't leave out anything that smells like natural mint if you have a cat. Your cat will most likely mistake it for catnip and go batshit crazy trying to get at it. Yes, I learned this lesson the hard way.
6. Only use regular water in your tree stand or bucket. No bleach or additives to make the tree last longer if you have pets. Fido and Mr. Mittens can (and probably will) try to drink it.
#11 - On 12/17/2009 at 2:06pm by myfriend_youfail
Even trained animals can get into trouble sometimes...they're not perfect little angels just because they graduated obedience school.
#17 - On 12/17/2009 at 2:25pm by myfriend_youfail
Holiday Tip #7
Do not let your pet dinosaur eat any metallic wrapping paper. It will start to poop glitter the next day.
Hope I helped! :D
#24 - On 12/17/2009 at 3:38pm by myfriend_youfail
d o g - g o d
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This bitch is the anti christ!!!
#12 - On 12/17/2009 at 2:07pm by f_alltheirlives
How exactly is this an FML?
"My dog ate a decoration. He'll be fine. He'll poop it out in a few days. My life sucks"
really?
#14 - On 12/17/2009 at 2:18pm by Sarcastic_Lady
I put small objects where my dog could eat them and than I didn't have to pay for super expensive surgery to save his life.
Hee! This won't be a true FML for about 2 more days when you have to give baby jesus thorough scrubbing.
#22 - On 12/17/2009 at 3:25pm by Joceannora
Baaahahahahaha, that's awesome. More humourous FMLs, please!
#30 - On 12/17/2009 at 4:22pm by soulsfirefly
I thought baby Jesus was supposed to be put in the scene only on Christmas Eve. What was he doing there so early ?
#31 - On 12/17/2009 at 4:26pm by Mary_Poppins
Returns in three days, sounds more like an Easter miracle than a Christmas one.
#35 - On 12/17/2009 at 5:14pm by twistoffate89
Your dog was "eating from the body of Christ"
You are the one looking at idols, and complaining over nothing, when in China they are usually starving and none of them have much freedom
Who's in the wrong here???
but yeah, im Christian and i give you props on setting up the... nativity scene props. haha
What the hell does China have to do with a dog crapping out baby Jesus? Unless the Jesus statue was made in China, which is very possible.
#44 - On 12/17/2009 at 8:35pm by FerrariCake
How on earth is a nativity scene considered an idol? OP didn't worship it.
#47 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:13pm by InsomniaCafe
Haha I wish I was able to set up a cute mini nativity ^^ there's nothing wrong with being religious, but there is something wrong with saying something mean about it unless you yourself understand what it's like.
Either way, I don't really know if I'd view this as an fml, this was hilarious xDDD
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
The vet laughed because the dog ate Jesus!
I'm laughing cause you set up a miniature nativity scene,
what a fag
OMG! How is this an FML??? This is hilarious!
If my dog was okay, I'd be laughing my head off. Well, okay, maybe unless it was a really expensive mini nativity...that could suck. But it would still be funny. I'm giggling every time I think about it.
#41 - On 12/17/2009 at 7:32pm by shanemayhem
YOU CAN SELL YOUR DOG ON EBAY!!! You could list him as "dog that will give birth to baby Jesus just in time for Christmas"
Some nutty Jesus-freak would pay a lot of money for that dog.
#43 - On 12/17/2009 at 8:33pm by FerrariCake
All you stupid douchebags saying: "Oh what a religious freak, setting up a mini nativity! Ha!"
Shut the fuck up! Its Christmas and she wants to be FESTIVE! Stop being whiney bitches and I don't care if you're an Athiest, its fine if you don't believe in God, but why don't you accept the fact that some people DO. So, respect her beliefs, respect the fact that she chose Cristianity, because we ALL have the right to choose.
Theres really no need to bring religion into it in the FIRST PLACE.
#45 - On 12/17/2009 at 8:36pm by psychoxxxinvader
I agree with you too.
Jerks like that are disgusting with their belief that only their choice is valid and if anyone else has a choice they disagree with, they must be humiliated.
And they attack religion because they assume religious people would do precisely that, trying to impose a choice, without seeing the irony of the fact that they themselves are the ones acting like others have no right to choose.
Normally i would say something along the lines of,"YDI for having a brainless animal in the house" or something along that line, but evidently the dog is wise enough to not fall to Christian propaganda, so i don't know.... YDI for being an idiot?
There are a lot of anti-Christians on this board!
Why should she not set up a nativity scene around Christmastime? If her dog had gnawed on a candle from the menorah, would you have said "YDI for being Jewish"? What gives?
#48 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:15pm by InsomniaCafe
Most schools just let out for winter break. Thus, all the prepubescent and pubescent trolls gigglesnort, pick their noses (or masturbate, depending on the age), and log onto fmylife.com and Facebook to post inflammatory messages of bigotry and hate, just for the lulz.
Get used to it...the quality of every public forum is going to go down until the kiddies are back in school.
#50 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:30pm by myfriend_youfail
The fuck does baby Jesus in a manger have to do with Christmas nowadays anyway? YDI for believing Christmas still belongs to the Christians.
#49 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:19pm by Ascaryrobot
Actually, retard, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus (and yes, I know he wasn't actually born at that time, but that's when the birth is celebrated). Just because some people choose to believe in Jesus doesn't give you the right to insult them like that, just like a Christian shouldn't randomly insult an athiest. If you don't like the birthday boy, don't come to the party.
#53 - On 12/17/2009 at 10:01pm by minitrini_89
Sadly, the Asshole! Troll has a point. Christmas has become so commercialized, people tend to forget what it's truly celebrating.
#54 - On 12/17/2009 at 10:08pm by myfriend_youfail
Well, Christmas was originally a pagan festival as was Easter. So it's original point was not to celebrate Jesus' birth.
The FML is the loss of faith.....
Not faith in Jesus, which I'm glad OP holds, but the faith in humanity we lose from seeing how many people find spewing anti-Christian bigotry to be amusing.
#52 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:44pm by The__Redneck
YDI for being offended at that awesome joke, and for making a nativity scene in your house...
#61 - On 12/18/2009 at 1:53am by Mustardnight
Obviously everyone who is saying "YDI for being religious" and crap are all religious themselves. Why else would you celebrate a CHRISTIAN holiday? That is the OP's religion and this is her religion's holiday. Even if it has been commercialized, it doesn't change the fact that IS in fact a Christian holiday. So listen to yourself say "HA HA you're celibrating your religious holiday for what it was intended" and hear just how completely ignorant and stupid you sound.
I'm assuming you all hate when people throw their religion in your face. So why would you assume Christians don't mind when you throw your atheism in their faces?
you're all douchebags.
#64 - On 12/18/2009 at 2:46am by Sarcastic_Lady
Don't get me wrong because I don't feel that they should be saying things like that but there are a lot of reasons people would celebrate Christmas even if they aren't Christian. It could be the fact that maybe their family celebrates it and so as to not upset the family they play along.
Then again there is always the fact that Christmas is in actuality a holiday invented to convert people away from Paganism. There is no evidence that Christ was born on December 25 and in fact there is evidence to suggest that he was born in one of the earlier months (One of the Summer Months if you are going by season's in America). Which could mean that people choose to disregard the Christian views for it and go simply on the fact that it's a day when you can give and receive gifts, not have to work (if you have one of those jobs), and there is no school.
#67 - On 12/18/2009 at 3:09am by ChibiChibi
I understand what you're saying but some of your facts are wrong.
Christmas wasn't made to convert people. Christians needed a day to celibrate the birth of Jesus (and yes they all know it wasn't actually the day he was born) so they picked a pagan holiday to celibrate it on. The reason they picked that holiday is because it was already a well known holiday and wouldn't be hard to get started. I'm pretty sure it was a king that picked that day in the first place.
But just b/c it wasn't the actual date Jesus was born doesn't mean it wasn't put in place to celibrate that occasion. So saying "it wasn't the actual day." doesn't really make it any less of a Christian holiday.
And yeah people do play along for presents and gifts and stuff.
Not all people celibrate it as a Christian holiday but they do need to respect that it is in fact a Christian holiday.
#73 - On 12/18/2009 at 4:30pm by Sarcastic_Lady
Christmas is a Pagan festival. I should know. My cousin/best friend never shuts up about it, but I agree with her. As she would say,
"Christmas isn't a Christian festival, It was a Pagan festival, and the Christians STOLE it."
&&, let's face it. She's right. :[ Sorry, but I just don't think that Christians should get all the glory and fame for this holiday, when they weren't even the original people to come up with it.
xx
#84 - On 12/26/2009 at 2:34pm by Firesprite2009
That doesn't make it any less of a Christian holiday.
#65 - On 12/18/2009 at 2:47am by Sarcastic_Lady
um...jesus came back on easter. unless your dog is gonna give birth to him on christmas, this post is retarded
#71 - On 12/18/2009 at 12:30pm by rotten_rel
all y'all niggas saying "stfu you dumb atheist assholes" need to relax. apparently your beliefs make you high strung as well as undereducated.
also, there's nothing wrong with some of the ethics and moral principles of religion, but modern religion has put such a hideous spin on the intent that it isn't even the same thing. the problem stems not from values, but from ignorance. unfortunately, ignorance might just include an inability to accept science.
i think that's hilarious my mom's very religious and i respect that of her even though i'm atheist. so all of those who say all atheist are asshole why dont you stfu and wise up some. jez and i thought they taught you to be nice to people in sunday school at least that's what i learned from it.
#82 - On 12/20/2009 at 4:31am by turtlegirl04
