Animals: Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three...

By gettingacat - 17/12/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 871

You deserved it 5 612

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - 05/01/2018 05:00

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 531

You deserved it 877

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 125

You deserved it 3 543

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 183

By ChaoticGamer - 23/12/2015 15:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 1 902

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 202

You deserved it 5 152

By cwhitney7 - 22/12/2014 15:04 - United States - Waltham

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 768

You deserved it 13 345

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 222

You deserved it 3 367

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 08:34 - United Kingdom - Bromsgrove

Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 464

You deserved it 1 905

By A - 09/02/2012 06:37 - United States

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 682

You deserved it 4 142

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 5 855

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:33

In three days he will return to you... where have I read that before?

Psychopauser 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:14

Not a FML more like a FJesusFigureLife

Comments

bookyourfaces 0

Monday 24 May 2010 17:20

Hahah. Just think of it as your dog giving the miracle of life. Jesus is goin on an adventure! (:

madyeti 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 21:06

Jesus is delicious!

Poepiepiesie 3

Monday 23 August 2010 1:54

Being an atheist implys that you found the human brain a verifiable resources however the brain and it's thoughts can only be verified by other brains and so philosophically the atheism theory is just as plausible as the religion theory. However there are dinosaurs that prove that the earth is older then the bible says.

Kittie68 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 8:30

also... you could apply the "china" concept to about 3/4 of the FML's on here. that's like me saying that "the sex I had last night was horrible" and u responding with "you shouldn't complain about how horrible the sex you had last night was, I was raped..." cmon really...