Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Slippery
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Don't just stand there!
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Down in the dumps
Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML
Just corpsing
Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML
These boots were made for walking
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Neighborly
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Nice, thanks!
Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
Top comments
Haduken 16
At least you already had ice for that burn
adrianh1090 12
At least he was nice.
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Comments (123)
adrianh1090 12
At least he was nice.
mageepaigeee44 15
Not really... She could have had a concussion. He should have called an ambulance or at least stayed with her to make sure she woke up. I would never leave someone passed out in the cold.
adyb 12
Especially cause she was out long enough for him to try to carry her and write a note! 0.0
israelnotjacob 20
Leaving someone alone while unconscious is not in the slightest bit nice. She could have suffered some head trauma and should have been examined by a doctor. She's lucky she woke up so easily (this isn't a damn movie). Calling for an ambulance would be common sense for any decent person. This "cute" neighbor is clearly a douche bag and now she knows not to pursue him any further.
TheZigg 8
OP deserved it anyways.
negb 30
So say she got a concussion and never woke up. Will the crush still be considered nice when explaining to police what happened?
JesterJosh 5
I'm going to be Devils Advocate and say I probably wouldn't have even left a note. And it isn't his problem that OP wasn't more careful. In fact OP sounds a bit weird to be in such a rush to look at some guy. Kind of creepy. Knock of his door and make plans like normal people.
synsam 4
how did he unlock the door? either he had a spare key or he went into her pants....weird.
synsam 4
also, WHY would he unlock your door?
sanecatlady 13
No, he was a complete jerk. She could have had a concussion and need emergency medical attention and he should have at least called 911. Or she might have gotten frostbite or hypothermia. Or maybe he... ugh.
grunt_fml 17
No, leaving someone just lying there is not nice at all. He should have called an ambulance, all kinds of bad things can happen when someone gets hit on the head so hard, that he/she is passing out. And apparently it is cold in Kansas right now. An unconscious human lying on freezing cold ground becomes hypothermic very rapidly and acute renal failure is only one of many potentially deadly consequences. No, OPs neighbour is very far from being nice. In fact he is a reckless, heartless and uncaring asshole.
takeittoem 8
Well, considering that this occurred in the United States, we can definitively say it is NOT illegal here. Cold, maybe, but perfectly legal.
Pinwheel 10
You really don´t have to help people at all in USA? You are allowed to stand by and watch someone drown, burn or bleed to death and are not obligated to help in any way not even to call an ambulance?
snowgr5 6
People in the US were getting sued so often for trying to help that they had to pass laws called good samaritan laws that prevented it. I don't think every state has them though.
Tbj4247 8
Why was OP's door even locked? She just went outside in a rush to take out her trash. I don't see her locking her door for that.
AdamLingLing 1
Ouch hope your ok
Queen_bee1234 21
You're*
Queen_bee1234 21
あなたは、すべての愚かである
TheZigg 8
Funny that you took a picture of a well known model and put it as your profile picture! You're a troll!
HKCgrimmjow 15
^ this guy knows his shit
StompinOnCrayons 15
Or maybe his shit knows him
Sports_guy3 28
What the ****..?
REALAfroninga 11
Just inquiring, but #57, do they make you were a helmet?
bugfroggy 16
Watch out, #85. #21 is going to jump out of nowhere when you least expect it and correct your grammar.
Queen_bee1234 21
I never claimed to be the girl in my profile picture. Stop being judgemental assholes.
TheZigg 8
Just mental assholes? We wrote one comment, not even an offensive one. Take it easy, no one tries to hurt you:)
Queen_bee1234 21
Calling someone a troll for no reason is pretty offensive if you ask me.
bugfroggy 16
I apologize if you found it offensive, but that's not how our community works. If you look on other FMLs, we like to make fun of the other users, sometimes. Not to hurt anyone's feelings, but that's just how it works.
Haduken 16
At least you already had ice for that burn
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
haha nice! !
Grauncho 27
I strongly approve of this comment.
Bioshockxs 9
I approve, good job!
VampOfSavannah 31
At least you didn't break any bones?
pistachiopanda 19
Maybe you should both invest in gym memberships.
KeinBaum 12
"Hey, wanna go to gym with me?" could actually be a pretty good conversation starter.
lrjlo 11
What kind of person leaves somebody unconscious outside in cold weather?!
perdix 29
#6, someone who is too ashamed to let people know how weak he is. EMT's can be very judge-y and blab embarrassing facts all over town. The guy's got a rep to protect!
\ 28
From the FML perspective, a rational person.
JMichael 25
Obviously the cute dumbass OP was trying to impress.
Nastorrian 11
One that can't drag a fatty inside?
Purplexus 14
They weren't worth it anyway, OP. Nobody wants that kind of person!
JaegerMayCry 13
The man OP was trying to impress might have just been weak, or OP could be a bit on the large side. no one knows so don't be so quick to judge.
xSkittle 16
Well, at least he tried..
worldclassrager 39
At least he checked on you...right? Hope you didn't hurt yourself too much...
ksks1234 33
Are you sure you still want to get your cute neighbor's attention?