Miscellaneous: Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor...

By rholt - 14/01/2014 06:48 - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 464

You deserved it 8 085

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Same thing different taste

By youlyingjerk - 01/02/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 556

You deserved it 3 495

Slippery

By Dana - 29/01/2010 18:59 - United States

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 106

You deserved it 3 207

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 09:34 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 394

You deserved it 3 037

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 4 137

By Triple F - 07/03/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 186

You deserved it 40 317

By Never Work With Animals or Children - 26/05/2012 11:06 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 209

You deserved it 2 629

Nice, thanks!

By somnolence - 17/09/2016 21:20 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 371

You deserved it 1 986

By anonymous - 16/10/2010 15:18 - Canada

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 378

You deserved it 4 301

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 5 231

By couturier - 02/01/2010 07:08 - France

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 951

You deserved it 36 207

Haduken 16

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:20

At least you already had ice for that burn

adrianh1090 12

Tuesday 14 January 2014 19:19

At least he was nice.

Comments

CrabbityAnn 10

Wednesday 15 January 2014 22:37

Maybe you can strike up a conversation when you go over to slap him upside the head with a first aide manual and lend him some free weights?!

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 15 January 2014 22:39

And there goes your self esteem..

Aweh_Olivia 13

Thursday 16 January 2014 6:49

I'm so sorry OP, I would have been so embarrassed. At least he tried to help :)

JanisEvans 10

Thursday 16 January 2014 22:50

Time to put down the fork.

19jassyj96 12

Friday 17 January 2014 6:39

That sucks. At least you are okay.

HKam1995 3

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:00

Bhahahaha I'm sorry but that is hilarious XD

HKam1995 3

Saturday 18 January 2014 18:01

At least he didn't rape you XD

jasmiiineeeb 3

Sunday 19 January 2014 2:12

You'd think he'd call the ambulance.

imsorryhun 4

Sunday 19 January 2014 22:27

He obviously is not that hot. You should pin a note to his door saying "Do you even lift bro?"

fantasyworld 37

Friday 31 July 2015 22:55

Who the hell just leaves someone out in the cold?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 141

The Top

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 331

You deserved it 3 307

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my 4 year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 587

You deserved it 4 433

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 143

You deserved it 2 648

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his Facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 296

You deserved it 3 791

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 472

You deserved it 3 428

Today, I was talking to a worker in Asda when an alarm went off on her watch and she took her vest off. Apparently, the alarm was the end of her shift, and removing the vest was so she could call me "a time-wasting tit" in a manner so I couldn’t report to her boss, since she was now on her own time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 806

Same thing different taste

Slippery

Nice, thanks!

Stuck

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