Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
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Top comments
jdeezy01 13
Mama gotz moves!
MysticMonkey 9
I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.
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Comments (94)
jdeezy01 13
Mama gotz moves!
science-teacher 15
Is she 'Cyrus'? (serious) meh
soccerstar1996 18
Mom has got you on lockdown OP
NinaAD 10
FIRST COMMENT! Btw. Sorry about your mom op. I'm sure she's just messing with you!
Cusefan5 6
Oh The horror
MeTheBeast 22
Wachu taking about Willis. Dat mama needs an award!
Aegimus 5
She might do it, but then the child's friends would never want to come over. Or better yet, report it to the police. I wanna hear THAT 911 call. xD
imhope 23
Has she ever done it??
panicsdisaster 17
will you do it?
happyevil 10
I applaud you #53. You sir, have just made my day.
zeldagirl77 7
I bet you she doesnt even know how to twerk. i dont either so.. lol
Sports_guy3 28
Google it.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Sounds like my mom...
Zimmington 21
Hey Op let's be friends I'd like to meet your mom.
LizetteBerenice 22
It could always be worse!
junkman6 22
I think I would rather be beaten on a daily basis then ever see my mother twerking.
Zimmington 21
She could be stripping for Op's friend's parents while they toss nickels at her.
JD1147 27
True, it could be worse.. Her dad could do it instead
MysticMonkey 9
I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.
Das_is_gud 11
It was already dying out until Miley Cyrus brought it back, now adults know about and they think it's some new craze when it's actually not that new
stargirl_95 24
Women have been twerking since the 80s. Miley Cyrus (who can't even twerk) just popularised it.
DocBastard 38
She's got you by the balls, so to speak. I would suggest you do what she says for the rest of your life to avoid unleashing that horror on the public. No one wants to see twerking. Ever.
laden_swallow09 34
Weeeeell, I wouldn't say NO one, absolutely ever… I'm an ass man, after all. To me, it's like I'm watching a contortionist act at the circus; it's mesmerizing to see the human body move like that when done right with the right body type!