Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
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Top comments
\ 28
Trailer life, I suppose.
mangoboy1 19
I also start crying and smoking cigarettes when I run out of TP.
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Comments (65)
\ 28
Trailer life, I suppose.
Sinistra_Blue 12
And they just upgraded from an outhouse too.
mymegangirl 7
that's really rude. poor doesn't equal drunk.
websphere69 27
Sounds like a "shitty" situation to be in
michelleJ11 25
Overused and not even worth posting anymore.
\ 28
LORD HAVE MERCY, not this again
Gothicbunnyx3 16
Amurca
Wakachulak 22
Nope, Texus
Gothicbunnyx3 16
It's not like Texas is in America
buckerado 19
#13-You're an idiot. It is Tejas...pronounced"Tehaaaas" Trust me I'm a Tejan.
\ 28
When will Sandy come back, #38?
mangoboy1 19
I also start crying and smoking cigarettes when I run out of TP.
alycion 38
Yes I always make sure there are smokes in my bathroom but never look for tp before sitting down. Priorities.
HelenLFC 27
Nobody likes to run out of "shit wipes"
redbandit9877 12
Never in a hundred years will anyone remember to put a new roll on.
Javier6597 19
Well that sucks I'd cry too if I didnt have any shit wipes :'(
KinkyCurly 13
For your sake... Get her some "shit wipes" asap! lol
patrickalamo 47
Don't ask the question if you cannot handle the answer...
cosicosei 22
Can't tell if she means baby wipes or toilet paper... A bit fuzzy
evilplatypus 38
Does it really matter? Either would have gotten the job done.
noelasis94 18
Sometimes you have to wipe with the hand.
KinkyCurly 13
I do hope you wash your hands with antibacterial soap and the recommended 20 seconds... yeesh :/