Miscellaneous: Drunk mom

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 036

You deserved it 3 814

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Same thing different taste

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 110

You deserved it 4 851

By icyrebel25 - 12/11/2013 23:57 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 953

You deserved it 5 234

By alexbobalex - 11/01/2010 07:23 - Aland Islands

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 916

You deserved it 57 617

Paperweight

By caramelkarma - 15/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 266

You deserved it 65 670

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 117

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 213

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 622

You deserved it 74 765

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 972

You deserved it 4 871

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 481

You deserved it 2 709

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 76

\ 28

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:35

Trailer life, I suppose.

mangoboy1 19

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:37

I also start crying and smoking cigarettes when I run out of TP.

Comments

\ 28

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:35

Trailer life, I suppose.

Sinistra_Blue 12

Saturday 27 July 2013 6:36

And they just upgraded from an outhouse too.

mymegangirl 7

Sunday 19 May 2019 2:48

that's really rude. poor doesn't equal drunk.

websphere69 27

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:36

Sounds like a "shitty" situation to be in

michelleJ11 25

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:53

Overused and not even worth posting anymore.

\ 28

Saturday 27 July 2013 3:04

LORD HAVE MERCY, not this again

Gothicbunnyx3 16

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:36

Amurca

Wakachulak 22

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:46

Nope, Texus

Gothicbunnyx3 16

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:50

It's not like Texas is in America

buckerado 19

Saturday 27 July 2013 4:45

#13-You're an idiot. It is Tejas...pronounced"Tehaaaas" Trust me I'm a Tejan.

\ 28

Saturday 27 July 2013 13:04

When will Sandy come back, #38?

mangoboy1 19

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:37

I also start crying and smoking cigarettes when I run out of TP.

alycion 38

Saturday 27 July 2013 7:36

Yes I always make sure there are smokes in my bathroom but never look for tp before sitting down. Priorities.

HelenLFC 27

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:37

Nobody likes to run out of "shit wipes"

redbandit9877 12

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:40

Never in a hundred years will anyone remember to put a new roll on.

Javier6597 19

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:40

Well that sucks I'd cry too if I didnt have any shit wipes :'(

KinkyCurly 13

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:40

For your sake... Get her some "shit wipes" asap! lol

patrickalamo 47

Saturday 27 July 2013 3:29

Don't ask the question if you cannot handle the answer...

cosicosei 22

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:42

Can't tell if she means baby wipes or toilet paper... A bit fuzzy

evilplatypus 38

Saturday 27 July 2013 4:40

Does it really matter? Either would have gotten the job done.

noelasis94 18

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:42

Sometimes you have to wipe with the hand.

KinkyCurly 13

Saturday 27 July 2013 2:47

I do hope you wash your hands with antibacterial soap and the recommended 20 seconds... yeesh :/

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The Top

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 086

You deserved it 18 230

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

The Top

Today, while at the movies, I started making my way to the end of the row so I could pee. Others moved to make room except for a man at the end. As I tried to climb over him, I tripped and fell on top of him. When I told him I was sorry, he just smiled and said, "Mmm, don't be. I enjoyed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 099

You deserved it 799

Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 146

Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 591

You deserved it 230

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 988

You deserved it 5 800

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 188

You deserved it 3 058

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 649

You deserved it 38 888

Drunk mom

Same thing different taste

Paperweight

Dump the dump

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

Not now!

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