"Shit ticket for one"

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 15:00

Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 191
You deserved it 269
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Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

I'm worried. You seem to be living such abject poverty that you accepted that your entire family can't afford toilet paper, before finding out it was a ruse. Are you really that poor, or does your mom just hide money in order to get her kids to behave a certain way? Also... shit tickets?

50 0
Dave_Davington 33

I'm just really happy that shit tickets seems to be catching on.

33 2

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

I'm worried. You seem to be living such abject poverty that you accepted that your entire family can't afford toilet paper, before finding out it was a ruse. Are you really that poor, or does your mom just hide money in order to get her kids to behave a certain way? Also... shit tickets?

50 0
wHSKitty 11

It’s in the urban dictionary. Some of these new slang terms are just stupid.

2 2
008GGG 14

‘Shit tickets’ is far from new. I first heard the term 20 years ago. The person I heard it from used it while in the Marines in Vietnam.

4 0
Charlie Given 26

It's as old as WW2 when people would use useless ration cards which were very thin and looked like large bus tickets, hence "shit tickets"

8 0
TomeDr 24

Your mother is a genius!

4 1
Dave_Davington 33

I'm just really happy that shit tickets seems to be catching on.

33 2
Summaria 10

I feel like showering after every dump will cost more than buying toilet paper....

14 1
Lalala579121 27

Yeah they just need to get one of those toilets that sprays your bum with water after you shit.

3 1
boopingsnoot 24

A bidet! Wish I had one.

2 0
Seeya55 31

You guys at least can afford a poop knife, right?

13 2
carlgrimes47 13

Couldn't she buy some and keep a secret stash, grabbing a few sheets before entering the bathroom? Your family could still use it and your brother be none the wiser.

5 1
carlgrimes47 13

Couldn't she buy some and keep a secret stash, grabbing a few sheets before entering the bathroom? Your family could still use it and your brother be none the wiser.

0 3
Davros 12

You can't buy your own TP? Im sure there is a Walmart or McDonalds close by.

0 2
Cowgirl1293 26

"Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?" "Yes, I need some McShit tickets. Please. Fresh. Uh. Not used. $12.75? Sure, ok. Thank you."

2 0