Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
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Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
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Top comments
chobitschibi1369 0
Girls pass gas, too. Its not a shocking thing. Would you rather her be so uncomfortable around you that she feels judged over a normal thing?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Niceee, women need to start acting more like this
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Comments (115)
Bear_Flu 0
bob
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Niceee, women need to start acting more like this
Barbarossa_fml 0
No... no they don't...
deerescu 1
i do:)
rexchanna 3
That's why you always answer if someone asks if you're awake. My roommate once checked if I was asleep, and I was too tired to answer cause I didn't want her talking my ear off. Then she started masturbating and that was awkward. FML
maddycakes19 0
yummy
wwerulez14 6
Bon appétit. :)
asore 0
tht a way girl. dude, just be happy she's not scared to let it rip every now and then.
chobitschibi1369 0
Girls pass gas, too. Its not a shocking thing. Would you rather her be so uncomfortable around you that she feels judged over a normal thing?
ZeeBest86 6
Lier! females don't fart or shit!
Bobissmall 13
What bull crap is that... or MAYBE she's considerate so didn't want to make a smell if he was awake. That's far more likely to me. And the fact she giggles shows she didnt feel uncomfortable, surely...
RachelElizabeth7 0
if you want a chick that doesn't fart or shit then buy a blow up doll, only chick that wont!!
perdix 29
Next time you'd better answer, otherwise, she may think you are such a heavy sleeper that she can fart in your face . . . and then she might shart.
jesscarrr 10
ewww titf •–• heh
CallMeHush 0
What, no Dutch Oven? Tonight show her how it is done.
DocBastard 38
How could you not respond? If you had said yes, you could have had some sweet nighttime sex! With bad breath...and stinky farts... On second thought, you did the right thing, my friend.
Saarr 0
Haha you're awesome doc! Your comments make me laugh xD.
jsx12345 0
stfu doc.
Jimboom 11
Be glad you didn't answer. Otherwise she might have Dutch ovened you.
vanessa_tx_21 0
lmao
deathzombie1314 0
Lolers
ahem_speak_up 0
haha most girls do this.. it isn't an Fml. it's life! XD
SleptWithYoMomma 0
agreed
UpsidedownKayak 9
LIES! Women don't fart, poop, or sweat! That's is why guys send pictures of heart shaped shit, so that you know what it actually looks like. Yes, whenever a guy is in love, it comes out shaped like hearts, and they say guys can't be romantic. I don't know where everyonelovesboners is today but don't worry, bro, I got your back.
RedPillSucks 31
The secret is out! Women fart while their guy's in deep sleep. This clears up the mystery of why guys don't think that women fart.
LoveMySoldier82 0
Obviously his girlfriend is an anomaly.
fthku 13
#23 So according to your joke, guys don't like to think of women sweating? :o That is unfortunate, OP. Next time say yes?