hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Cebu City, Philippines
Jaws
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Top comments
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
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Comments (198)
pkmlove 0
wow that sucks. how could an ant bite your penis? wouldn't you feel it crawling up your leg?
luis420 0
lol yeah I was thinking the same
Ninja666_fml 0
eh, the first mouth to touch mine was a spider's while I was asleep, but I was 10 :)
B4SK3TB4IL 0
maybe they were doing nude pushups in the middle of the park while listening 2 duran duran. I do it all the time
flighted 1
who ever feels ants crawling on them? they're not the heaviest of creatures........
mschmuty_fml 19
How old is this guy. if yes 25+ then his life sucks
SocialAmethyst 20
Lol
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
Tannerzpro 0
lmfaooo good comment
chacha101908 0
LOL(:
Nitros_fml 0
Dude, get over it.
RadioOctopus 16
What kind of response is that on FML? "Dude, get over it."
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
Alley_Way 0
FTW. I love you. XD
austinkarimi 0
hahaha
animalfreak4ever 0
ftw XD
bobwaswow 0
poor ant I bet she cryed ='[
sayyestothedress 24
This comment made my day!! LMFAO!!
Gulsah 0
ahahah FYL cause that probably hurttt ant bites hurttt
24788 6
I wouldn't worry about it. No matter how short it was at least you got some from an ant.
IWannaBeAPickle 1
FTW!
123654789 0
YDI for being such a fat pussy. Now go to the gym so girls will like you.
keke_fml 0
I always give dumb fake fml's like this a YDI
dirtyhippie 0
I'm sure it didn't eat much o_O
marz88 0
More importantly why was an ant on your penis and how did it get there?
flighted 1
....crawled up his leg maybe?
ScarlettG 0
That's what I was thinking!!!!!!