Instant cure
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
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Top comments
eviiee_fml 3
this is a fml for the dog not you. poor puppy :(
ActionManly 11
What a CAT-astrophe! Wait, wrong pun...
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Comments (245)
gohabs21 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hahahahahahahaha
gohabs21 0
But really, there's nothing funny about that
pepsie_fml 0
every1s laughing but thats like really sad. ydi for getting sick. poor puppy
princesszeebunny 0
poor puppy
xFalzz 0
Poor puppy D: Atleast you got icecrean?
raineydayes 0
Agreed #13.
OwNowBrownCow 0
captain, don't let OP's dad near your dogs.
the_flirtt 0
haha iicaptian would be devastated
Shookitup 0
awh :( was the ice cream good at least?
Arsonnist 3
Maybe he thought it would cheer you up. Way to let a puppy die by being sick.
ellielovesyuh 0
omfg. poor puppy):
956TXking 0
Comment Unmoderated
SuparSerial 0
Don't eat icecream if you're sick. And it's not a FML for the dog, it doesn't care that it's dead.
soulja93 0
its more like an fml or the poor puppy
michael419 0
I try to hit puppies while I'm driving, you know. they're 150 points!!!
Sharpie23 7
In Soviet Russia you don't hit dog, dog hit you! does that make you feel better? (the dog just lost the fight)
Ashley121645 0
im sorry but **** UR DAD! if he killed a puppy that puupy should come back as a ghost and run him over what a bitch lol ghost puppy...retarded. anyways dogs rule so if u kill 1, **** U!
Bloodberry 0
more like f the pups life :that is if it's still alive
sc95060sc 0
r u seriously crying about how sad u r when u just hit a puppy.... who is hurt or dead, and has an owner who is going to be devastated? ydi for being a selfish brat
FFML_314 11
Ashley, what if I killed 2? 61, OP isn't selfish at all.
albinogiraffe123 0
omfg!! :((
wufwufwolf 0
53- you're amazing :D
twirlingqueen4u 0
**** you asshole
LordXavier 0
Today I had just learned to walk, and decided to cross the road. I got hit by some bastards eating ice cream. FML (this is puppy's FML)
HandOfClod 0
What the ****... My puppy was hit today, I really hope it wasn't you, because the driver kept driving...
Sethlikesgirls 0
hahahahaha.
hockeyplayer82 0
who eats ice cream when they're sick? and maybe the puppy had rabies and you did it a good deed. maybe just maybe...
lolfylanydi 0
HAD been sick
redsoxlover09 0
ooh, that wud ruin my day, unless it was that puppy from Tom and jerry, his dad pissed me off so much!!! the cat didn't mean to do it!!! it's that stupid mouse teasing him!!!!!!
t123456 0
why is it ydi? OP doesnt wanna be sick either
11colio11 4
so 61, if you hit a puppy should you not feel bad? I don't understand your logic here. How is op selfish for feeling bad about hitting a puppy?
BananaSticker 0
Dumbass. If you were sad, all you had to do was come to me and i'd give you a banana sticker. Don't ya know banana stickers make EVERYTHING better? So, Ima have to say YDI for not coming to me. Now you're going to get fat AND you killed a dog. Shame on you! Oh, and don't ever think of coming to me asking for one in the future. You are banned from my awesomeness forever!
BananaSticker 0
*sick not sad. >.<
andreezy273 0
dayum girl you fine
im_ossim 0
117 I...would...LOVE A BONANA STICKER!!!!!
ladiesman14 0
liar ! people dont hit puppies ! it was a coyote, racoon, skunk, or squirrel. thats what i always see lying on the road. has anyone ever seen a puppy ?
RainbowxxVeinsx 17
lol, I don't think half of these people asking for banana stickers understand where the the banana stickers came from xD Metalocalypse FTW.
buzz18 7
aww poor puppy :/
ladiesman14 0
Comment ModRetarded
michael419 0
you're awesome too 83 :D
timma90 4
Poor ******* animal. ='( I actually couldn't give a rats arse about if a human being was hurt but I feel somewhat hurt if an helpless animal gets hurt - Only thing what brings a tear to my eye and reminds me that I'm still human and that I still have a heart. =(
cantfightfate 0
aww 96...that totally sucks!
MizzCaramelle 1
what do u mean she deserved it for gettin sick. I'm sure she didn't go out of her way to infect her self n fall ill. the puppy thing is sad though
Stevefett 0
1- I totally agree. The first thing I did was literally laugh out loud.
JeffGoesRawrr 0
Wtf 13.?? "ydi for getting sick" Wow. You Can't Stop Getting Sick. Tard
snydsey 0
Today, I was just doing my thaang and walking on a sidewalk when some douchebag eating ice cream came on the sidewalk and hit me. I'm just a puppy. FML.
MrWTF_fml 2
well I guess you got more then you wanted!! just make sure you clean the puppy right!! and make sure it's clean everywhere on it!!
karina_said 0
puppy pancakes! yum!
zakkyzebra 11
EPIC WIN
twinny_sc 13
What kind of ice cream did you get?
nabo4u 0
I love puppies. they taste like chicken
l0ri3 0
so 138 if you had a kid and they died, then you wouldn't care since they were not a pet?
JayColt 0
FFML your a stupid fat btch. slurry *****. I'd fck the sht out of that ugly fatazz
falluke17 0
184 ftw
DikkeMelkers 0
LOOOOOOOL
moolatte 0
People with sore throats... Not all sickness involves overeating and stomach aches.
burger33 0
wow
dancergal789 0
awww! be careful when u drive! poor puppy! )-; , , ,
quent10 0
+ = = FYL
apoll 0
I would rofl at that. if it was a cat, I would cry. **** dogs
haleyisawsomee 0
omfg I would run ur dad over to see how he likes it. jerk!
NeonRisk 0
I want to run over your ugly babies :(
nateypooo 0
that sucks op! y would u get ice cream if ur sick tho?
trumpetfire07 0
55 = win
jubjub1276 1
it's just an animal. at least the dad didn't swerve to avoid it and crash the car.
jearojas 4
oh dude that. blows.
xjerseyedge 0
dude... put some clothes on
xjerseyedge 0
sick f u c k
spazzy910 0
Your sick gohab! What kindove stupid username is that anyways
MonsterSlayer13 5
how is she selfish!?
eviiee_fml 3
this is a fml for the dog not you. poor puppy :(
the_flirtt 0
fml doesn't promote pets
eviiee_fml 3
well it should :(
the_flirtt 0
haha ya I guess :}
eviiee_fml 3
dogs have lives too, so its only fair :) hehe
the_flirtt 0
if only they could talk lol •_•
liljeron 0
poor fido :(
raineydayes 0
Ahaha 45.
ncvolley123 8
34 and 33 flirting.
eviiee_fml 3
your actually number 33.. ?
Arsonnist 3
Wait....I'm 33. that's awkward.
eviiee_fml 3
so who were you referring to? haha
Arsonnist 3
I didn't say it. Look at the name of the flirting comment and look at mine lol. I'm just as confused.
Jay1D 0
I think he was referring to you and 34
Arsonnist 3
Apparently 59 doesn't believe threadjacking number disorder exists.
mfmylifesrsly 29
I wanna see 2 and 18 make babies
TheOptimist 0
I agree with 194.
ActionManly 11
What a CAT-astrophe! Wait, wrong pun...
956TXking 0
Pun Fail
TheIrishJaneDoe 8
This is pup-posterous!
cicpjaky 6
second!!!!
OwNowBrownCow 0
Nothing lives forever.
MonsterSlayer13 5
yes, but its sad because it was only a little puppy.
brightlightsbloo_fml 0
awwwww:( thats terrible.
te_amo_ily 0
I've run over a cat before :S
rainbowhobos 4
Kitteh Killer! O:< Damn you woman!
rainbowhobos 4
Hahahahah..... no. That wasn't even remotely funny.
xtfauthorx 0
She didn't ask, she just told you it wasn't funny
iheartkookiez12 0
haha wow reckless driving
ColetteL 4
bitch much?
rcloca 10
90 very uncalled for
cicpjaky 6
ohh fail.... D:
talb1 7
poor doggy. D: