Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24503) - you totally deserved it (1090)
On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)
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yay!! I'm the first but damn that's on sum messed up shit she dumb too for not looking bhind her... least u don't have to go through that akward break up
Two options:
1) Break up with her first, claim she was just something you used for sex.
2) Crush her in the bear hug, pretend it was an accident.
#33 - On 11/22/2009 at 5:47am by crazytoaster
"least u don't have to go through that akward break up" - It sounded like a pretty damn awkward break up to me...
I wonder what was said afterwards...
"Uhhhh, Ismaeliqua..."
"What, he's a fucking greasy-haired, pizza-faced loser who's made me fake it for him every time we've done it, but if I'm straightforward about it, he might go into a whinefest and kill himself."
*Other friend points to you*
"How is he behind me? I can smell his sweaty ass from space. Hell, I can smell him over...the...phone." *Turns to see you at the last part* "Hey sweetie! I didn't notice you there!"
But yeah man, FYL.
Just be like Ill show you how to do it then be like " I dont want to go out with you anymore because you're an ass."
#7 - On 11/21/2009 at 7:14am by mylifestoryy
tell her she doesnt have to coz you're breaking up with her instead!
#10 - On 11/21/2009 at 8:09am by xoxcinderellaxox
Then his life would *really* start to suck. Not to mention hers...
#35 - On 11/22/2009 at 5:36pm by Jernau_Gurgeh
Woof, didn't see that one coming. You ruined the surprise so you probably didn't even get breakup sex either did you?
#14 - On 11/21/2009 at 9:29am by CallMeHush
continue on with the bear hug, and don't ever stop squeezing!
#15 - On 11/21/2009 at 9:45am by captain_soggy
You should've said something sarcastic while walking off. It's a great breakup in any case, though. She just saved you the trouble of wading through anything else she could've used an excuse to mooch off of you... lucky you.
#17 - On 11/21/2009 at 1:34pm by blastvortex
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YDI. She probably got sick of all your goddamn hugs moron, stop being so clingy.
Giving tight hugs =/= clingy.
It shows how much he likes/loves her. I personally love bear hugs because light hugs SUCK. You wouldn't know how often these bear hugs come anyway. But even if it was constantly given to her, she could've asked him to stop. Breaking up with him just over hugs? Come on now.
Back on topic, bear hugs = love. The idea of surprising her was cute. It's okay if she doesn't appreciate it, you can find someone better.
#25 - On 11/21/2009 at 9:02pm by SirensMelody
You should have told her that you were breaking up with her, then yelled FIRST in her face like a small child and ran off.
#21 - On 11/21/2009 at 2:37pm by WTFsGoingOn
ouch well if she has a problem with a surprise hugg u need someone better
#22 - On 11/21/2009 at 4:56pm by spacecakes
tell her you have HIV and she should get tested... or pull a cullen but make sure your parents tell her you killed yourself... or just humilate her in front of her friends... mmm we need to full story.
#23 - On 11/21/2009 at 5:31pm by moon_mistress
umm okay or what could have happened is: one of her friends facing you tipped her that you were coming/ she saw you out of the corner of her eye/ etc. and she said it to freak you out.
#29 - On 11/22/2009 at 12:21am by letslaugh33
D: Sorry...that really sucks. You should have cleared your throat or do something to let her know you were there. Then, be the one to break up with her.
#29 - That would be nice if it were true. Hopefully the guy didn't go do anything crazy yet...maybe waited a bit until this cleared out. But if she was not joking, then that really is FYL.
You should have suggested telling you after a foursome with you and her friends. Then it could have at least ended on a high note.
Slap her face! Slap her in the face with your dick! DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!
#40 - On 11/23/2009 at 10:55pm by helpmeiamblind
bear hug her realllllt super hard and maybe u will rupture an organ
#42 - On 01/09/2010 at 8:21pm by actress5698
