You SHOULD get counselling. Both of you. No matter which one of you is 'right' about the situation, it sounds like there's a serious imbalance in your relationship. Maybe she's too distant and doesn't invest enough in the relationship, maybe your expectations are unrealistic and you're too dependent on your wife. It's most likely some kind of mixture of both, but it's important to remember that while your perspective feels real and valid to you, it might not to your partner. It sounds like both of you could benefit from a third, objective person telling you how to approach those problems.
Hard to judge from that short tale, but getting 100% from someone, even your spouse, means you have to deal with 200% of problems, expectations, experiences etc. Depending on how mentally stable you are, this can be quite a weight to carry. Maybe try to have an open conversation about that.