Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "To put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I once again have to attend a family gathering and never hear the end of, “Julie, you’re 33 and you still haven’t found a man?” What they don’t understand is that every time I pour my heart out to a guy, I always get the ladder kicked out from under me. As a result, I can’t get close to anyone anymore. FML
Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML
Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years asked me if I ever wanted to get married. I said yes. He said, 'But what happens if you never find a guy who likes you that much?' FML
Today, I saw yet another dear friend from uni get married, living the good life in their new home. Here am I in my 30s, with no love life, and feeling like that's never going to be for me. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML
Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML
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Top comments
AnOriginalName 19
Wow. I always put my sugar in my coffee before the milk, even before reading this. Maybe I'm a natural-born lover? Still wouldn't explain why I'm single, though.
tehdarkness 21
An even better reason to do sugar first is that the higher the temperature of the tea, the better the sugar will dissolve. Milk will cool it down a bit.
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Comments (91)
AnOriginalName 19
Wow. I always put my sugar in my coffee before the milk, even before reading this. Maybe I'm a natural-born lover? Still wouldn't explain why I'm single, though.
\ 28
OP, enjoy yourself while you still can! It's up to YOU to decide when you're ready to marry/get married, not some stupid superstition...
Harpy20 24
I always put the sugar in the glass before I even pour the coffee/tea. I don't even need to stir it that way.
dingleberrysteve 6
Probably single because men don't care about tea
LindsayxMoore 18
omg. that moment when it all makes sense.
domolovesyoshi 33
glass? isn't tea and coffee drank out of a mug or cup?
Gingerette 8
It depends on what type of tea it is.
nutella_girl_fml 15
I guess I'm gonna be forever alone because I don't put sugar in my tea.
tjv3 10
I'm not thinking that's why OP
tehdarkness 21
An even better reason to do sugar first is that the higher the temperature of the tea, the better the sugar will dissolve. Milk will cool it down a bit.
littlem91 29
I did think that was common sense actually.
packrat 26
That's my reason too. Probably overthinking it, but I also hate seeing people put the milk in before the sugar. Or sweetener. And people who add milk and sugar before taking out the teabag are just gross. Even worse is when they leave the teabag in while drinking their tea.
tehdarkness 21
I don't actually sweeten, just milk. Hope that doesn't screw me around somehow!
love_me_electric 20
I leave my teabag in while I drink the tea sometimes. I buy those stringless tea bags, so i'd have to either stick my fingers in my tea or fish it out with a spoon. Too much hassle.
ImTheAlpha 30
I leave the tea bag in because I am lazy and I think people who put milk in tea are weird.
hays_xo 15
I put sugar in first then milk, I'm in a loving relationship. So keep looking :)
rocketiquette 20
Same here :) I would hope it still counts with honey vs sugar. Honey with tea and cream is amazing!
Dthsapprntc 23
I prefer to put tea in my sugar. I guess I am really screwed then. And what if you use non dairy creamer instead of milk?
littlem91 29
If it's due to necessity it's fine, otherwise you're another tea heathen.
TheAbstract 15
A teathen.
Dthsapprntc 23
I'm a heathen anyway, but that's a different story. Non dairy creamer is so much more fun than milk tho. And that might be slightly off topic. Tea anyone?
TheAbstract 15
Why yes, my good chap, I would absolutely love some tea.
thatnucca 36
Be positive! Keeping that attitude might make things worse...
crunchmunchkin 13
Use half and half. Problem solved.
darwinism 30
It's all lies OP. I put milk in first all the time for years. I got married...then divorced, a couple of times now. I am reading the singles ads while drinking tea this very morning.
starile 20
Then according to legend, you never found true love. So it rings true!
iknowiwantyou 13
you say all that and then you state that you're "only" 23. hardly a fml when you already have so much self reassurance.
Genuine_G 8
Forget tea, learn how to cook!
onorexveritas 24
I wouldn't take stuff like that to heart. I find it highly doubtful that your love life depends on how you make your tea.