Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, I found out my 15 year-old daughter is sexually active. I found out by finding her in our bedroom with a boy from her class, using one of our condoms. Her dad hasn’t spoken or moved from the kitchen table in over 30 minutes. I think he’s so mad his brain glitched and got stuck. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
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Top comments
MsConfusedd 27
You should replace the playlist with a voice recording of you reading erotica
killinpoptarts 9
Make sure to have a separate voice for each character
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Comments (86)
MsConfusedd 27
You should replace the playlist with a voice recording of you reading erotica
killinpoptarts 9
Make sure to have a separate voice for each character
UnicornFarts 15
He has to be careful about doing a Betty White voice, things could heat up quickly.
fawfulster 11
And when he gets to a REALLY steamy part, he should exclaim "OH MY!" in his best George Takei voice.
Comoke1024 19
I agree! Or something casual in there. Maybe a reading of descriptions and symptoms for all the STDs.
interesting33 36
In the voice of Mr Bean...
natalies0drizzy 3
moonzombie 13
He should do his best Gollum voice and giggle at the really steamy parts.
JMichael 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get your priorities straight!
gej12345 17
Well, good to know you have your priorities straight OP!
thelittlemissy 29
Replace it with "Daddys let's get it on list"
gennyv 29
Hopefully she's not a teenager still...
OptimusVader 23
I see little wrong with a 19-year-old being sexually active with (possibly) only one partner.
mikbrooke 25
#5 - by the OP being disappointed in their child already being sexually active, why would you think they are not a teenager? i find disappointment comes the younger the child is, so im thinking early teens.
jadeystram 3
I think creating an environment where your child could be at least honest is great. I told my Mum the day after I lost my Virginity and I was quite young she said she wasn't happy but at least I had a relationship with her where I could tell her that stuff, to the point my friends were jealous I could even talk to my Mum about that stuff even though we fought a lot. We are best buds now though since a few years have passed since my young teenage years haha
SillyGirl4602 23
66, I agree with what you said and I was the same way with my mother. I was sixteen when I lost my virginity and I told my mom the next day. As for op's situation, I feel it would be a bit awkward. I could not imagine talking to my father about having sex.
noreia 14
maybe it's more about giving him the right pace than listening to whatever the music sounds like... or it's just because it's enough to drown out the noise she and her playtoy of choice make.
frozen92_fml 12
gangnam style best sexy time song ever.
Philintheblankz 14
Worst. Song. Ever.
SgtAssCheeks 21
According to my sarcasm-o-meter, I do believe he wasn't being serious about that. But if he was... BLASPHEMY! The Fox is the greatest love-making song of all time!
hamzor 5
Yep the chorus of The Fox is perfect for them to follow the rhythm ;)
SuperStormCindy 8
I hope you meant "What Does The Fox Say"
SmokinGuns 13
Even sarcasm can't save your stupidity in liking the most ridiculous and annoying "song"
Jared900DUmpling 30
Actually, the song isn't called "what does the fox say". It's called "The Fox". Look it up on YouTube.
Ashlynnlove 10
Let me guess was, "It's gettin' hot in here" on that list? It's a classic! Haha
arelori 4
Record your voice and rename the file as one of her most played songs.
HowieDoIt 21
Please tell me Timber and Nickelback were on the crap list.