By Anonymous - 15/04/2014 16:37 - United States - Erie

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 799
You deserved it 10 063

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I hope you pointed angrily at his hand.

chocolatefrog28 29

Tell him he's actually the other man, and you're already in a meaningful relationship with your vibrator but you're willing to be friends with benefits.

Comments

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#159, you do realize that's preposterous...right? If's just a sex toy meant to be used for pleasure. It's not cheating in any way.

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How dare you engage in an entirely natural sexual activity?? What if you leave me for yourself?! /sarcasm

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I hope you pointed angrily at his hand.

iLike2Teabag 27

Yea. Rightie feeds him, dresses him, spend every waking moment with him, all on top of doing sexual favours for him. If that's not cheating (by his logic) I don't know what is.

babygurll19 10

Or leftie... let's not be right supremists

Yeah, we must fight for equal civil rights.

TwiztedYuri 9

you mean for our civil hands... cause we cant leave the lefts out of it

itstrishabtw 13

at first I didn't understand but now I do

StillUsesMyspace 22

No one Is bi-handual #115, everyone knows they just say that for attention.

#122, my cousin is naturally ambidextrous. I've seen it. Your argument is invalid.

Dat feel when a good joke goes right (or left) over someone's head.

#126 he was making a joke... like how people say bi-sexuals are just saying they like both sexes for attention...

And what about our civil lefts you asshat?!

mmyoung979 14

Rightie or Leftie? Lame. Personally, I'm tapping Handjelina Jolie

Sorry #153... Palmella Handerson is the way to go!

Technically, if you got the vibrator first, your cheating on it, according to your boyfriend. Not only point at his hand offer him a dramatic ultimatum.

What about Jill. Jill is definitely the go to gal lol

Meanwhile, in the back room at the Leftorium...

shove it in his mouth, claim hes cheating too victory

Am I the only one wondering how you are always in the top five comments and saying a tactic then saying victory? It can't just be me unless I am missing something haha

incoherentrmblr 21

Orgy, maybe. Maybe... Epic polygamist win

#19 a ***** in someone's mouth isn't rape. It's creepy as hell but not rape

Pancakes017 19

I'm sensing insecurities on his part.

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No, she's just one of the few people in the world who still retains some common sense.

Someone has no confidence in his abilities. I feel sorry for the OP.

#7 obv not. Psychic detective it is. But apparently he can't convince others that it's a real thing, so he spends time on FML

chocolatefrog28 29

Tell him he's actually the other man, and you're already in a meaningful relationship with your vibrator but you're willing to be friends with benefits.

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@#88 Ignore #125. Keep sharing. Several of us here, reading your comment, really like where this is going.

Yeah, to fully understand this joke I'm going to need a bit more detail. As vivid as possible.

And you should go choke on a vibrator.

sweetprettykitty 10

Yep. About the only excuse I can think of for being annoyed she has a vibrator is if she's always turning him down for sex cause she overuses it. But even then, calling it cheating is just stupid.

He can put on his big boy britches and get over it.

Hey, I'm sure he still visits Jill every now and then! Masturbating shouldn't hurt someone's ego. Even if there is a toy involved. Sometimes women just can't do it by there selves and want some help. It's amazing if the boyfriend is open and okay with it but to class it as cheating is bloody ridiculous. I really hope he was joking!

why did he go through your things? I doubt you left it in plain sight.... trust issues maybe.

mansfield_j 27

Or he could just be curious, but most likely has trust issues

CrazyGirlfriend 21

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Permission to be in a room does not qualify as permission to rummage through her things.

And I didn't say he has permission to rummage through her things now did I? No, I was replying to #56 who was saying that he shouldn't be in her ROOM without permission. But since OP left him in there, he clearly had permission to be in the room. Nowhere in my comment did I say it was ok for him to go through her stuff just because he was in there. He doesn't have that right.

#135 She didn't say that he shouldn't be in there. She said no one but insinuated she left it out because she didn't care about get bf seeing