Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
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Top comments
Blink_me26 21
Ouch. Maybe save your kink for further down the track OP :P
Welshite 39
Well you might have taken your inspiration too far, given your nickname. Clawing is a special skill that shouldn't be abused. Maybe try a scratching post next time.
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Comments (92)
Blink_me26 21
Ouch. Maybe save your kink for further down the track OP :P
martialart1st18 19
But kinky is good
domolovesyoshi 33
it might well be but not for the first time
bertyogurt 7
Anyone that's ever been kinky or crazy for their first time is probably going to end up growing up thinking that being aggressive and wild is all sex is. It's great, but it's something you should grow into with maturity, so you can control it and know when it's appropriate.
SexyBabb13 3
It never says they were losing their virginity it was saying they as a couple were doing it for the first time.... Granted one person experience can be more the anothers so you need to talk about likes and dislikes before sex ever happens.
kaablam 17
Yeah, because most people for their first time together have sat down and written the rules of love they wish to have.. right 'tf is this, 50 shades of grey? Normal people do it in the heat of the moment.
yesnid 2
How would you know your partner would like it? It is completely selfish to do something only for your enjoyment when it could be a major turned off or hurt them. I know a guy that had a girl stick her finger up his ass in the heat of the moment and he punched her. You always take first before sex.
Welshite 39
Well you might have taken your inspiration too far, given your nickname. Clawing is a special skill that shouldn't be abused. Maybe try a scratching post next time.
loooloool 13
Dosnt matter had sex
Bzu123 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sorry op some people are jst not into that but to me he sounds like a bitch
patrickalamo 47
50 shades of a wussy.
ericb982 8
So if I drag my nails down your back and you feel pain, you're a wimp?
UberNova 18
- 62 if a man shows any pain he is a wimp, didn't you know that?
badluckalex 23
sounds like op had some sharp ass nails
travelfreak 20
Ouch maybe file those nails
DoctorRoche 11
I had first comment and it dissappeared.
The_only_Eric 4
You should've said I'm a tiger. Raawwr.
infinitegrace 21
Cut your nails or make him wear a shirt and try again!
speakersboom 19
"Put on your shirt; I want to have sex." Wut?
barfcannon 24
Not that weird, ever been in the heat of the moment and you're just too impatient to take off your shirt?
kaablam 17
Here babe! I made you this chainmail to wear for..us. ;D
psycheiris13 20
Woah there tiger a little scratching is nice but you didn't have to full on draw blood!
nix1993 41
I'm not understanding why he was limping because of a scratched back... Can you say 'Drama Queen'?
crimsonlover4 31
Drama Queen! But seriously, there's no reason for him to be limping...unless OP also scratched elsewhere? o_O
musicforhearts 15
Don't worry OP. Your boyfriend will understand and next time it will be better. At least now you know what not to do!