Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
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Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
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Top comments
empbob 20
I'm sorry, it sucks that your boyfriends penis is small enough to fit thru a donut...
evanobrien 14
What kind of donut?????
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Comments (228)
kelseythompson 27
Maybe he's trying to be romantic? I read about this in a cosmo magazine, he's just trying to spice things up ;)
Paco_el_Taco 17
Maybe it's just me but eating a dick donut doesn't come to mind when I want to spice things up.
KeinBaum 12
They advice people to stick their private parts through donuts to spice thinks up? No wonder no one reads magazines anymore.
vipirius 18
Well then I would say FHisL if he actually takes Cosmo's advice seriously.
CaitsACake 7
OP here and it might have been almost kinda okay in different circumstances. I had been feeling depressed and me and him where fighting and he came over and brought me ice cream and a couple doughnuts into my room. He kept trying to get some, got aggravated took my doughnut i had gotten one bite out of and stuck it on his penis. It was ridiculous. Mind you after i forced him to take it off i DID eat it. It was my ******* doughnut after all >_>
Paco_el_Taco 17
Well I'm glad the donut didn't go to waste.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Way to remove your comment OP... Make me a fool again like in the dick made of play doh fml.
loooloool 13
I don't think the glaze is really glaze
PIGaming 21
how thin is his dick?!
buckdharma 37
I'm guessing it's Munchkin sized.
Anthony1908 6
But which tasted better? :)
597mph 10
This is why no self-respecting person reads Cosmo.
kelseythompson 27
*Says the expert 16 year old*
jazzy_123 20
"self-respecting person"? I'm sorry but last time I checked, some people are into magazines.
CountWest 6
126: Yes, some people are still into magazines. What they aren't into is having self-respect. Vote me down all you want but search your feelings... You know it's true. I mean, how many articles on "5 ways to spice up your sex life" do you need to read before you realize they use the same material every issue?
laden_swallow09 34
128- Five issues, if not fewer. I've counted.
naren723 11
I think that's cute! And who doesn't like donuts? I definitely think this shouldn't be on fml, you should brag about this to your friends about your guy being creative and funny.
hallix 21
Dude, this was from a tumblr post. Still funny, but definitely stolen, either by op or her boyfriend!
evanobrien 14
What kind of donut?????
Paco_el_Taco 17
A dick donut.
Steve95401 49
Dick Donuts - the new Breakfast of Champions
Paco_el_Taco 17
Don't forget the side order of Balls Benedick #20.
Kamon97 23
It's jelly filled
Paco_el_Taco 17
I think you mean cream filled...
kelseythompson 27
Correction I think you mean creme...
trav_o 8
If it wasnt cream filled im sure it is now
kelseythompson 27
Damn Paco el Taco.. beat me to it
pooldude 24
I was damn sure there would be someone who left this reply. Thats the reason i checked the comments! Thumbs up mahn :)
shyeahh_fml 19
32, how would a dick even fit in a jelly filled donut...?
Ermony 3
I see what you did there...
laden_swallow09 34
133- Considering it's half-and-half pastry and cake, I'd imagine you can fit your organ in there without breaking the doughnut to the point that it falls off. Not like it's as rigid as you are, y'know.
dancinwookie 21
It was a long john.
drshn 22
The one that had (ass) holes in the center
thisismylifesoo 11
did it have a white coating?
metheonlyb 17
You deserve more up votes!
Nyarlothatep 12
No.
xXDemonWolfXx 13
Because of your name, you get my vote good sir. Which one did you base that off of, the book series or the anime? If anime you deserve this up vote even more.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Come on, give #4 a thumbs-up. The comment is quite funny.
bacon_lover100 11
Why should any vote up a disgusting comment like #4.
TallMist 32
#181 I bet you anything if it was chocolate on breasts, it wouldn't be disgusting then, would it?
mansfield_j 27
Well.... Did you??
Lebeaugars95 20
yes she did, then he doughnutted all over her face
x_the_lancer_x 13
Was it already cream-filled?
BMTHsuperfan 18
if it was cream filled it wouldnt be able to fit around his dick, silly.
\ 28
What's the purpose of a donut-hole anyway?
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
It's for dicks, apparently lol
VeganVampyre 26
111- to make Timbits! :)
ViktoriaaKills 13
what a very canadian answer. not everyone has a tim hortons down the street, y'know. :p
Happy_FairyTail 10
They have Tims in Michigan. That is a state in the US
ActionFearo 39
He's being sweet... Next thing you know, he'll be covered in whipped cream and hot fudge! (:
gmian 34
Better a donut than an onion ring!
ileenefudge 29
#7: Let's not bring my last name into this...
empbob 20
I'm sorry, it sucks that your boyfriends penis is small enough to fit thru a donut...
valentinov 15
Best comment so far :)) Lol!
borntoperform 14
He probably ripped the hole *visual*
brrarm 17
I went into comments of this FML to look for a comment like this:) exactly!
darryaz 9
My first thought too.
poisongirl708 11
Hahaha
Shine242 17
That's what I thought.
Kilestfou_fml 7
That what I was thinking, mine would never fit in a doughnut hole.
charmanderCHAR 5
Wow, you must be loose as **** if you think a donut hole is small. Close your legs.
xmuffinx 6
That's excatly what I was thinking so I scrolled down ti I saw Ur comment ahaha and died
Razi_tail 25
Did he glaze it himself?
Lei_Aili 18
Stick a banana in your ****** and make him eat it out of you.
kelseythompson 27
*pukes a little*
weveallbeenthere 30
not a bad idea but strawberries taste better.
kelseythompson 27
*pukes a lot*
Ashamed_Sister 60
I know some guys who would like this idea, and I know at least one who definitely likes strawberries this way. Don't ask.
Not_Impressed13 9
*goes banana shopping*
kelseythompson 27
*goes with*
DavidKnows 11
#129. Chocolate covered cherries! Body heat melts them inside, and mixes w the other nectar. Mmm
asherm 15
Probably not a good idea to put anything sugary in there. Causes yeast or BV. Yuck!
Ashamed_Sister 60
#183: You’re right, no sugar. Only strawberries, eventually with a hint of trout flavour.
lightbeam584 15
I dont know about you, but i dont like bananas. Maybe Grapes?
borntoperform 14
Is this Really the kind of man you need? REALLY?
SAspring 17
No, but it's the man she deserves.
ZooMzy 9
Gotham deserves its true man.