Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
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Top comments
Askzombie 14
Well you volunteered as tribute.
AninOnin 24
Tell him his junk looks like an elephant, and flap his balls like Dumbo's ears.
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Comments (155)
cracchiolo 16
All I got to say is....wow.... Ha
AninOnin 24
Would've been better off not saying anything.
mallu86 9
You had to do it, didn't you?
CobraLazerFace 21
You also said "all I got to say and ha"
xBethanyC 15
I hope he knows that the mockingjay isn't actually a real creature..
phatdaddy62 23
Is he 12?
MegaError101 10
Hope not
jnanderson 16
By the fact that he couldn't come up with anything better than mockingjay, probably so.
skipper2009 18
Mentally most likely.
yuzuru_fml 12
#43 what's with the hitmonlee picture?
Askzombie 14
Well you volunteered as tribute.
TheCutestLizard 28
I wouldn't doubt it.
beaverteaser 16
angrys birds?
TheCrispyCat 20
Close, Hunger Games
AninOnin 24
Tell him his junk looks like an elephant, and flap his balls like Dumbo's ears.
Saddyohh 13
Most men would seriously take that as a compliment and thoroughly enjoy having their balls flapped around. Just saying...
noonenoeone 22
Yea for sure...if elephant and my junk are used in the same sentence I'm having a good day.
karlcolt45 19
unless the sentence is The elephant stepped on my junk.
TheCrispyCat 20
Or, "You have elephantiasis in your junk."
RedPillSucks 31
^^ What? Seems legit.
phillysportsfan 13
If my wife told me my junk looks like an elephant, my ego would explode.
coried91 28
I've never laughed so hard at a comment thread. I can't figure out why it came across so funny but it did.
coolkid224599 1
omfg I'm dying haha
karlcolt45 19
that is honestly one of the scariest things I've ever heard
jizzwold 21
I am just amazed that her boyfriend was able to spread her labia wide enough to resemble wings.
karlcolt45 19
with a name like yours I strongly suggest you never comment on fmls with feminine content. down votes are gonna happen
RedPillSucks 31
Every womans lady parts are different. Some are indeed flappable.
mallu86 9
I agree #68. My ex had wings down there and she flew out to smoke a cigarette and never came back.
coried91 28
I seriously love this FML. I've been laughing for the past 15 minutes it feels like.
Zestus 19
doesnt he have the birds mixed up too? mockingbird, blue jay, and crow - these are really common birds and ought to be recognisable to everyone
Izabushel 65
Most likely he has just been reading/watching The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins.
glabberfasted 16
A "mocking jay" is from the Hunger Games.
VeganVampyre 26
Yes, but mockingjays don't caw like crows. They sing like, well, mockingbirds. So the boyfriend's comment was still mixed up.
doubledutchy 15
Be glad he didn't say it looks like a turkey and make the 'gobble gobble' sound!
Enslaved 36
Or an old man in a nice hat. (past FML)
Goblin182 26
I thought women liked having their ****** gobbled.
RA91 26
I have to say that I completely agree, lol.
dragon5assassin 5
Was there also a toucan noise he was doing also? Lol
alicespoons 17
No..? Why would there be.
teyyoshi 19
“i just had sex ”by akon
karlcolt45 19
I bet you have to enjoy that song in a sarcastic sense instead of a celebratory one
TXFernwoods 26
It's by the Lonely Island