Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
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Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
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Top comments
metalhead4740 14
Well the man has his priorities straight...
GenaALazer 22
He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.
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Comments (107)
GenaALazer 22
He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.
michaelaranda 28
Or he just doesnt want to have sex until his rubiks cube is solved. I have a friend who cant sleep unless his rubiks cube is solved.
jjessen 20
Knowing that information, just to troll him, I'd put like 10 scrambled Rubik cubes next to his bed to see what would happen
ywolfgl 21
What if he genuinely thought her "equipment" wasn't good enough?
ChevyRedneck85 13
Or he's gay? Come lay naked on my bed an see what happens lol
YeahYeahYeahOK 6
While that sucks, he was nervous. Give it time, he will want to solve you rather than that darn cube!
GenaALazer 22
If that's true, she should find someone who would appreciate her "equipment".
judea95 16
My bf did that, and he continues to do so sometimes. He may just like doing Rubik's cubes
terryaly 13
yeah,its bit confusing to break the ICE
metalhead4740 14
Well the man has his priorities straight...
marulicko 19
So we have established that his priorities are straight.. I wonder if he is...
pedinhuh 23
I don't think he's that much straight...
SokDek 14
Well rubiks cubes are much less complicated. ,
cakefete2 30
He is clearly straight. He's just practicing to find her g spot.
gotaplanstan 28
I'll say what you won't 70.., he's Sheldon Cooper
justindrew14 29
sucks for you op
domking1315 20
I like your way better than "theres a button for that"
whopper_sr 7
4: What's the point of this comment?
NoFlippinWai 24
To simply make you ask questions 73. LOOK! it worked.
Aspen_Grace33 27
Maybe he's been working on that thing forever and he is so close to finishing it! At least you know when it comes time to have sex, he will take his time to do things right!
zandalee 19
Get busy with your vibrator while lying beside him. That should get his attention.
Brandonep 13
To be fair those things are damn addicting.
Justice_Beaver 13
He's probably nervous. Maybe he's waiting till marriage??
Rm85RIDER11 12
Marriage? Why would you wait until marriage
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
It is popular among the stridently religious.
brewmasterg 34
If he was that would probably be something that she would be aware of too. That's a pretty big thing to glaze over in a relationship.
Spider_Web 11
If he was waiting until marriage he probably would've let his partner know before it got to the point she had to lay on his bed naked
GLaDOS_cake 6
I'm not even religious and I'm waiting til marriage. And yes. I'm a dude. I think that if I wait it'll be more special.
x3jmac27 22
If he is waiting for marriage I am pretty sure she wouldn't be lying on his bed naked. I also don't think she would be randomely lying there naked without a reason. I know I wouldn't get randomely naked unless something was going to happen. Never know finishing a rubix cube before sex could be a fetish he has or maybe something he feels he must do before sex.
jsgervais84_fml 12
Give him a chance, he hid preservatives in his rubik cube and his too nervous to solve it. >.>
gc327072 30
W-…what?
ElricMustang 23
I'm trying so hard to make sense of that...
griggypop 4
Did you mean to say "prophylactic"?
fsomelife 26
This is a very long shot but "preservative" is the word for condom in some Eastern European languages...maybe that's what was meant?
fsomelife 26
Oh, jsgervais84 is from Montreal, guess French works too.
skittles_kitten 4
"Preservatif" actually. But yep!
DrownedMyFish 18
40, don't try to do the impossible, you'll hurt yourself.
niallo 23
Maybe he's loosening up his fingers. Give him a few minutes.
tishtashbat 16
Did he glace back up at you, put the rubik's cube down and pay you some attention?? He's probably just nervous if it's the first time he's seen you naked!
Cujo3269 9
Are you fat or ugly? Or have bad teeth? or smell? If not then maybe he's one of those gays. Or its one of those rare times where we just don't wanna have sex for some stupid reason. Lol, it happens